The Recent Me

I wonder whether any reader noticed.. that I'd never updated my recent life and future plan in my blog after final exam.. This is probably one of the most anaswered questions at this stage of my life.. Yet I never felt like writing about it. The reason is rather simple, because I have no idea about my life, my further study or career life.. I'm like lost..

I just checked the student record online today.. and Yes, I've got a first class degree.. It seems to be a bit late to tell as most who care knew it already lol. For my past study life, I'd never ask other's results.. never tell anyone unless I was asked.. as I don't like the way people look at me, as if I was showing off.. But, like what I told PeiMan that day when result came out, I want to share my happiness, I hope my friends (and family) feel happy for me.. OK, so what's this first class for/about? Before even I came to UK and started my degree, Ms Tan (Sook Bee, from E-West) told us that getting a first can let you to go for PhD directly.. So I could see the "value" of getting a first, rather than just... hmmm "oh first? that was really good!" (Dav's reaction when he asked me today.. lol). I thought this was true.. but it's just half true. I emailed a uni staff that deals with those postgrad study, he said that actually a first can let me go for MPhil, which there is possibility to upgrade to PhD.. Hey! this is very different right?

Actually, I don't really care, although I could see the value, but as I said, I love studying, I don't mind spending more time more effort and go for usual route.. But somehow.. this is still.. @#$%^&* la.. right??? (Although I'm aware that my house now got 4 bachelors 1 mba, if there were to be someone who get phd, that's probably me? HAHAHA =P)

So I'm still rather confused.. I think I mentioned before, that I feel like working, I want to work! I need more more more experience, rather than just research theory research theory (I do love research).. and ah well, I feel it's time to stop studying temporarily.. and learn to live a different life.. So ideally, my plan is to work for a couple of years, then study further.. yes, ideally. Else, I should be working and pursuing my master or whatever at the same time... hmm.. I dont know. The thing is also, I haven't even got a job, a proper one I mean (I must leave primark asap, except Ben, most of my best colleague friends left =( ). And I feel guilty as I found some friends actually seek for job when I was still slacking and enjoying life after exam.. = =.

Apart from these issues, our student visa expires at the end of Oct. So if I'm going to stay here, I should be applying Tier-1 around July/August.. (will probably going to live without passport for 4-8 weeks = =). So it's also important to decide whether to study or to work, since the tier-1 is just once for each life.. Then, the place of studying/working is also very important... because our house rental contract actually ends on 10th July = = (2 weeks later), although I did tell the landlord that I might be staying till August... etc etc.. there are so many things.. to be considered..

I can't get motivated, to plan for my future.. rather ridiculous, isn't it? So.. hmm.. I don't know how to end this post now, but if it happpens that you do read current long and wordy post, let me know your opinions ok? Perhaps it's not a decision, perhaps at this situation, it's not my decision that matters, but "que sera sera" (whatever will be, will be)...? I mean.. perhaps not even myself can decide what I want to do.. (although I can try)?