I don't want to see this happens

A bit of heartache. A patient was restraint to be given his depot today, and I was part of the restrain members. This patient, he had been muted for about 2 years, and when he first came to our ward, I was the first person he spoke to, and the ward manager was quite impressed that I managed to get him talked. Now that I saw that happened, I feel pain for him. He's not a difficult patient, 100% not. But this happens every week. Because he doesn't want to consent that he has got mental illness, by accepting the depot voluntarily, it simply means he has got mental illness, so he would decline, so we would need to restrain and inject him. He was strongly defending, 6-7 of us were holding him, and he still managed to move. After this, I've got no courage to look into his eyes. For no reasons, I feel guilty. =.=

This reminds me of another patient's words. At first he defended himself, he fought back. That led to more medications and seclusion, so he learnt, he learnt to be complied, because he wants to get himself out of here. Are patients actually getting better, or do they just learn to pretend better?

No fear

今天在巴士上擠沙丁魚的時候 收到六個 missed calls (話説巴士擠得根本不可能把手機拿出來 只能尷尬地讓它一直震動)

後來下了巴士 才發現六個 missed calls 都來自經理的手機 因爲我的 mentor 把我寫給他的話轉給他了

今天是我的假日 也是他的假日 可是他知道后 就打了那麽多多多多電話給我

回他電話 講了十多分鐘 還聽見他的小孩在吵鬧 xD

真的工作狂一個

事情是關於我值夜班的時候 一些不負責任的 seniors 爲了睡覺把我一個人留在 ward 裏 連休息的機會都沒有 (重點不在我休息與否 在於把一個 23 嵗的女生獨自留在 18 個有犯罪前科的male ward, 爲了不要讓同事看見而間接連累當晚的seniors 所以我選擇用中文打 =.=)

本來我想讓事情過去了 也以爲已經過去了 沒想到 mentor 放假回來看見我上個星期的 email

就馬上讓經理知道了 跟經理說完話 心情還沒怎麽能平復

我怎麽會有那麽好的經理和 mentor..?!?!

昨天才說起這個 supervisor (mentor) 真的超好 今天又要稱讚他們兩個一次了

很多時候 會有麻煩 會有一點委屈 會很累 可是每次都因爲這些很善良很 supportive 的 seniors, 而覺得沒有事情了

有時候 晚上九點值完班 同事會覺得外面很黑很冷 把我送到家門口

不是我眼淺(吧?) 是他們真的很照顧我

說到底 其實來來去去 有問題的都是一樣的人 我開不開口 這兩三個人也一直是大家不希望一起工作的人 (天 用中文敍述事情好難!)

不管怎樣 身在這個 ward 還是沒有辦法不覺得太幸運~ XD

I'm never scared, never afraid, never feel threaten, because whenever things happen, I know a whole bunch of them would be there for me, would give me a hand, would stand up for me, and this bunch of people, includes probably 70% of the patients.