huibee

Chinese New Year 2012

2012-01-26T00:30:00.003Z

It's now the 4th day of Chinese New Year. And it's finally that I feel it's going to over. Lol. Yes, because I don't get to celebrate it, I want it to be over as soon as possible. It was kind of depressing when it was approaching it, and the first couple of days. To be honest I don't remember feeling so down in the past few CNYs. But perhaps one of the things is that I had to complete two essays due this week (later today). The only thing made me better is to Skype with my family, and I think we did it 3 times on the first day, so I got to watch the fireworks through my sister's Iphone, the kind of thing we always do passing midnight since I have memory. I missed home that I felt I was going to cry on the eve. :(

It's time to go home!

Anyway, I completed my essays today! Just now! So I'm giving myself a brief holiday. Then I realized I have been so tensed, that I do not know how to relax, what I should do to relax. The thing is those ethical form, other assignments etc are still crossing my mind. I somehow lost the ability to relax, sadly. :( Even my entertainment now - watching drama, I'm watching "In Treatment", recommended by a Clinical Psychologist in his visitor lecture. Now I have visitor lecturers every week, twice a week. I quite like this, we get to see different professionals, who come in and tell us what they do, how they do it etc.

I was going to end my post by saying 新年快乐. Then I suddenly recalled the news that I saw, a man passed away playing fireworks on CNY eve. He's just got married last Dec, a father-to-be, he was also the only son at home.. I can't imagine how it's like for his family to lost him in a day like that, that way.. Guess we should just be grateful and treasure what and who we have with us!

What you need to know to travel to Barcelona

2012-01-03T18:30:00.001Z

The Barcelona Card is worth getting. It saved us a hell lot of money on travelling (especially on Metro). And of course, some entrance fees too, though most are just 2-3 euros discount.

When entering the ticket into the machine at the Metro station, sometimes it's on your left, other time on your right. Weird!

Check their sales period before going! They don't have boxing day in December like most other countries. :(

The weather in December is not as warm as you imagine. The temperature up the hill is not as cold as you think.

In general they have all their meals 1-2 hours later than us. You might think this doesn't matter, but we went to a restaurant at 12pm and they were trying to serve us breakfast..

The Txapela restaurant is the only restaurant that I'd like to recommend. It's very close to one of the Zaras in the town. Though, I suppose people go there to eat "for fun" rather than treating it as a proper meal, otherwise you'd end up having a bill like ours.

Zara is not really "everywhere" like the guide book says. Though the price is also not as low as what most people say (well, at least compared to those in the UK, blame the pounds sterling!).

The only name I came to know after my trip is Antoni Gaudi. And Barcelona is the city of Gaudi. He honestly did very brilliant art work in this city. He's Gaudi!

Bring someone who reads maps brilliantly, if you can't do it yourself. We spent most of the time walking the complete opposite direction while we're looking for places!

Don't sleep with someone who likes to put his/her arm on his/her head. The elbow will be waking you up all night. (note: I wasn't the victim).

Overall it's a beautiful city (thanks to Gaudi). Most of the entrance fees are a bit costly. The food in general is good, and is usually reflected through the price. It's many people's favourite European city, though not mine!

Note: Can't find a proper picture of us 4..

New Year, again

2012-01-03T00:54:00.004Z

It's hard to stop myself from saying it's again, another year. For the past few years I summarized what happened in that year and wrote a post at the end of the year, but not the 2011. It isn't that I haven't achieved anything worth noting, but I haven't got the time to do it. I was at work from 22nd to 26th of Dec, then went to Barcelona on 27th and came back on 30th late night, at work again on new year eve. Other than that I've been trying to work on my addiction essay, linear models exam and preparation for dissertation, and of course, some "necessary" entertainments.

That kind of summarize my life..

It has been quite a year for me. Let's talk about work first. Though I'm not going to talk about the content of my work, but the people I'm working with. I learnt so much, and realized how blessed I'm. I must had done a lot of good deeds in the past to have known some very nice people, for example one left me with her flat keys for me to stay in when she's away for holidays, and a lot of very nice colleagues. I don't think I believe in karma, since I was brought up, being told by my mum that we shouldn't do bad things, but we don't have to do good things too. And I can see where that comes from (it would take few hundreds words to explain that). Yet for me to have received all these kindness, I have to do something to pass the kindness and love around, I think. I don't know how yet, though. Ha ha. Perhaps I just dont like this "owing" feelings, I want to return the favour, but I can't, not yet.

Another major change in the year 2011 must be enrolling myself into a clinical psychology postgraduate study. That's like back in Hin Hua, that's what I call study, and what I realized I've lost - the ability to work so hard like nobody's business. It's way too different from pursuing my undergraduate degree. But I guess I enjoy it, I guess, most of the time, if it's not all the time.

It has also been more than 5 years since I came to the UK. I see how much I've changed, then I wonder if anyone else sees that. There are certainly changes that I don't want them to be, I suppose we human don't always have choice (is free will an illusion? there will be few thousands words discussion..).

Other than that, I went home twice this year. My eldest brother got married in June. I became an aunty in July. I moved to a beautiful city in September. I said Good Bye to my 5 year old Dell and welcomed my Macbook Pro. I started to go to church occasionally. ... ...

New Year resolutions is not something for me. And I think I have so many things to do that I do not need more to have myself fail doing. The most important thing now is to look for my motivation, to pull myself together and study. (Now I'm going to watch drama..)

P.S. I aim to write more about my trip to Barcelona if I have the time!

I want to write something

2011-12-08T20:22:00.004Z

Yes, I just want to write something. Just re-read my previous post, it was what?! November! and we're now in the 2nd week of December already.. What?!!?!

I handed in all three assignments today. I don't know how they'll come out, I didn't aim high I've got to admit it. But I did try my best. It's just too much. TOO much to cope with. Anyway it's gone now. There is a MOCK exam tomorrow (people tend to ignore the word "mock" when I mentioned that...). I don't think there's anything I can prepare tonight, I'm just going to bring all my handouts tomorrow and see how well I can do. The real exam will be after Christmas holidays. Well, after the so-called holidays, in which I have one 3000 words essay and one 1000 words essay due, one exam, one whole book to finish (for my research dissertation, written by my supervisor!). To be honest I'm really glad to have him as my supervisor, it just seems that he knows "anyone" in the cross-cultural field (I think he was the editor of Journal of Cross-cultural Psychology and the president of something else.....). I hope we'd work well together (well, we should). The workload is going to be highhhh though.

Going to Barcelona with PM, Fel and Jedwind (stranger to my blog - this is originally PM's housemate's friend..) at the end of December! That's going to be my only break. I was really thinking whether I should go, with all my workload (I'm still working, especially returning my "debt" hours). But mama said go to relax (although she also said can go after graduation!). Okay, relax.

It's so cold. I don't know if it's a good idea to live at seafront!! The wind is so bloody strong, I can hear the wind and the wave all the time! And I have to really look after myself because it seems everyone gets sick really easily at this place.. Oh well when it's nice and sunny, it all returns, who gets to see sunrise and sunset every day?!! (Did I say that I live same row with Hilton and many other hotels?!) And my location is even better than Hilton. Ha ha ha ha ha...

Oh Hui Bee, you need to write some quality posts.. D:

Stressful, Emotional, Contented

2011-11-25T21:44:00.005Z

Handed in the first assignment and did a presentation yesterday. Spent over 12 hours in the uni. Got to know my supervisor today. Working (as in as a health care assistant not a master student) tomorrow all the way till Wednesday morning next week.

This life ain't easy. Another 3 pieces of assignment due in 2 weeks. I hope there is another huibee to help out a little bit.

Ryuji (my presentation group mate, japanese) said, he could feel everyone's stressful too, because everyone gets angry really easily, everyone is like really impatient now. True. I told him I get angry really easily now. With my flatmate Akansha (Indian) closing the door loudly a few times at night and in the morning every day, I spoke to her for the 3rd time about the same thing just now. I actually said "Fuck You" when it happened again. Lol. No, I won't fuck you. Sorry.

Most of the time I'm actually quite happy, despite the stress. I feel contented when I have a lot done, especially nowadays I like to stay in the library and work till evening, with my macbook. Most of the time will be quite lucky to bump into some other stressful big-headed friends who are also rushing for something. But undeniably my emotion fluctuates so much, just slightly better than bipolar mood disorder I believe, slightly.

I made some friends. Met some ASEAN (mainly Malaysian and Singaporean) friends, a Chinese from SiChuan whom I quite like to befriend in my class, a Jap guy that I mentioned already, a Germany girl who is also in my presentation group, and another two Malaysians who took some modules with me. Of course, I also made quite some Hi-and-Bye friends.

Last week I was so fed up with my work manager Phil that I thought about leaving work. Someone who offered to help me turned me down and I nearly had to sleep on the street last week. They said when god closes one door, he will open a window for you. So within 5 minutes the window showed up, then I realized how lucky and blessed I am. Not fed up anymore. But I really want to know whether I should keep the job, and I wonder who can give me the answer.

I bought a Christmas present for the work "secret santa" game. I wrapped it up nicely and cut the letters of her name down from a magazine (poor magazine!) and sticked them on the wrapping paper. I wonder who my secret santa is?!

Damn it when I'm typing this, a Black man opened my door!!!!! I think he's the Jamaican flatmate, Kady's friend. Walao =.=. I'm still in shock. He said sorry and closed the door back. I didn't even smile. It's not okay. I won't smile! (See how easy I get angry!!) Okay, nevermind. By the way my flatmates are all nice, despite what I said about them.

Oh how can I forget that there will be a Malaysian Chinese moving into the flat upstairs next week. I know her from facebook - ha ha, random, I know! But it was because we were all looking for people who're from same kampung before we came to Sussex. (How come chrome didn't pick up "kampung" as a spelling mistake?!?!?!) So next time there will be someone who can have dinner with me or travel back from uni with me (she likes to stay in library to study too).

All these look so random and schizophrenic. Just some screen shots of my life recently. Christmas holidays in two weeks. I really want to ski!! But nobody is interested to go with me so far :(

I think I should talk to mama/family more. It always makes me feel better (no matter what random things we say). And I really want to meet my niece... by the time I meet her, she's probably no longer a baby!!

A Newly PG Student

2011-10-05T18:40:00.003+01:00

I moved to Brighton and had my induction last week. It'd be my first class tomorrow, as a MSc. Clinical Psychology and Mental Health student in University of Sussex.

It seems that I didn't give myself enough preparation (psychologically), I caught a cold on Tuesday while I was doing nights, sore throat, cough, fever, headache. Until this second I'm still not sure if my decision of keeping my job is right (but it's certainly not wrong). I suppose that's just something in me, that I always want to make myself proud, (and also people around me), so I take up the challenge.

The weather was amazing when I moved in, I was admiring the beach and walking around quite a lot during the first week (I can see the Brighton beach just through my room window!). But returning from London today, I could barely move downhill as the wind is so strong, yes it still is! I think I forgot, that whether it's Cheltenham, London or Brighton, I'm still in England! Typical English weather!!

Anyway, after a few hours of studies it's time for entertainments! Then I'll get some sleep and go to library before class tomorrow.

A Day in the Life of a Mental Hospital Patient

2011-09-07T21:40:00.000+01:00

Just read this:

A day in the Life of a Mental Hospital Patient

Going to a mental hospital is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by and I encourage everyone to take that step if they find it necessary. Life can be overwhelming and sometimes we just need to heal.

I find that quote good - stigma-free. Maybe becoming a patient for a period of time will make me a better carer too? Anyway, that isn't the main purpose of my post..

I can't help comparing how a day of this particular person (no longer patient)'s day compared to those that are on my ward. Some parts of it are quite similar, but I just really want to point out the main difference, which is the rehabilitation activities. Similarly, we have all those structures (certain time for meals, medications, basic activities like garden breaks), but how about the rehabilitation part? Someone on my ward can sleep through the whole shift (7.5 hours) and not doing anything. Others can just get up only for meals and leaves and do nothing else for whole day. What's good for keeping them in there and not doing anything meaningful and productive? And worse, not even helping with their mental states and general health (well most of them are obese). There isn't structured rehabilitation activities, if there is, there are way too loose (e.g. one to one session that only takes place every one to two weeks, psychology sessions that happens only once a week etc). What can they do other than those?

Sleep + Eat.

And can you believe for these people to Sleep + Eat peacefully every single day, how much are we taxpayers paying for that?!!!! It's okay if it helps, but does it?

One used to tell a member of staff, when the latter told him he's good at cooking, he can be a cook when he leaves the hospital, the patient said "no I'm not going to work. I'll receive benefits for the rest of my life." So oh yeah, more money for his benefits, travel pass, accommodations etc. This is what the service leads them to. Ouch! that's my moneee :(

Big Fat Bully

2011-08-28T22:37:00.002+01:00

Bully is home. It makes me depressed. I am supposed to be very jovial as I'm off for the next few days after three long days. But hearing his voice makes me sick.

I'm going to act like nothing happens, and like he's invisible. Can't wait to move out.

Wow

2011-08-11T23:16:00.004+01:00

A kind of funny thought came out to my mind today when I was having the monthly staff meeting on the ward... Phil (the ward manager) wanted us to say something positive about the ward if the dice turns out 3-6 and negative if 1-2. He passed it to me, I rolled it and it showed 4, I then thought for 2-3 seconds then said something that I really like about this ward.

Then the dice was passed on. I was then thinking, I was doing all these so naturally, I was the first one to start with, I was speaking English in front of all these people whose mother tongue is English, but my heart didn't even beat a little faster.

You might not realize what I want to say yet, because even myself have not realized what I have become until today. I went to Chinese kindergarden, Chinese primary school, Chinese secondary (high) school. I'd never liked English class (apart from Junior 2, Ms Mariam who was an excellant teacher). I was consistently one of the highest scorers in most if not all subjects, and it was always English the exemption. I disliked it, I wasn't interested to learn it, I found it so difficult.

But today, it all happened so naturally. Wow. I'm impressed.

P.S. I've been put down to go to Thorpe Park (for work)!! Really excited!

People are sick.

2011-08-09T21:15:00.001+01:00

Riots started from Tottenham and London and now all across the UK. I can still hear ambulance and police siren out there while I'm writing this. I wonder what's wrong with these people, with this mindless and disgraceful acts, what have they achieved?

Now people lost their home, some with little babies. Some people lost everything in their shops. Today when I was on the way back home from work, I saw a shop which glasses was broken, put a note out saying "This shop is close, there is nothing inside". The looters have got what they wanted, by breaking the glasses and went in to pick what they want. It even came out on the news that some chaps even went into JD sports to try on trainers during the riots! Pure madness.

Initially I didn't think it was this bad. Because apparently a mum from Tottenham said on the evening the building was set on fire, there were youth running on the corridors shouting "Fire" and even helped her to run with her kids. Alright so I assumed they weren't going to hurt people, at least they don't want anyone killed. But now, after three nights in a row and now the fourth, I think they are nowhere thoughtful even if they've done that. They're young teenagers, who don't even know what they're doing, what have happened and are going to happen, they're doing it because others are doing it - all credits to our social medias, to spread the news to call for gathering.

Now some are blaming the migrants, the whites blaming the blacks, the blacks blaming the government. But it turns out really obvious (from the CCTV) that it wasnt just a particular group of people. There are black, white, brown, oriental, purple and green (well they're all covered, who knows some are purple/green?!! Cowards, if you're so brave to have done this, why not show your face?!). Also, a video on youtube shows a Malaysian student was actually robbed by those rioters after injured during the riots.

Anyway, I'm just grumbling. I still managed to go to work today. Enfield town seems to be under controlled now. It's 'good' that it was attacked on the 2nd night, so police were ready to defend it (after 1st night), and there's now police officers everywhere (so hopefully nothing major is going to happen again). Oh by the way, all these were claimed to start because of Mark Duggan was [fatally] shot by the police. I don't know what's true or not, apparently people, including the officers can say whatever they want, but it's quite sure that he is not an innocent man. But then I also believe he was just used as an excuse.

One of the colleagues was saying they should really bring the army in, which I do not agree with. I think if the whole thing isn't dealt very sensitively, things are going to get real bad. Though I agree, their government is rather soft (I've not even seen tear gas yet so far! they only brought some big dogs when it happened in Enfield), and you know what, they talk TOO much about human right. Put it this way, to be considerate to those rioters and rooters and arson-ers and whatevers, and consider so much about their human rights, then who is going to stand up for the human right of we the innocences and victims?

But then after watching the news, I'm thinking what's wrong with the young generation? is it them to be blamed? or the society, the parents, the adults?! What makes this people being brought up in this society yet turn around and become rioters and creating mayhem? The news said some (of the rioters) are uni graduates, college students, graphic designers, army-to-be etc. If they're happy and healthy mentally, why would they have done this?

"I want sex!"

2011-07-31T22:10:00.003+01:00

No no, it wasn't me who said that, lol. I was doing response today, and went down quite a few times to an acute ward, doing reviews on this man in the seclusion room. He's a massive mad man, and has hit two of our TAMVA instructors (who are supposed to be very professional and the top people in restraining patients). I'd never met this man till today. But I have heard a lot of stories from others who have done response in the past two weeks. One of the significant event that I remember was that he pooed in the seclusion room, and made it really dirty, then that day when they tried to do a review, he stood up, slipped on his own poo and fell on his own poo! (hahahahah, how dramatic is that?!) Apart from that he's always naked (not today, just half naked) and very very inappropriate to female staff.

Today when I went, I was thinking I would be really useless, as a little young female nurse. It turned out he's obsessed with females again, then was telling the other staff that he wanted to talk to me (the other female staff around are at more mature age..), so I became a lure, to keep his attention, while they put his food and drinks via the toilet sides and unlocked the room before he realized. I found that quite funny, because I basically just had to talk (through the interphone/viewing panel), then I've done my part. xD Though one of the times he kept asking me to come closer, then when I told him to put the mattress back to where it should be, he started repeatedly saying "I want sex!" The nurse in charge said directly, okay! it's over!

His behaviour is entirely unexplainable (apart from the word 'madness'). His speech is incoherent, and is so obsessed with females. At the same time he is also strong and can be so violent. He can be naked in front of so many staff not feeling a thing; He stuffed his food below the door; He doesn't use toilet but anywhere of the room...

He will be sent to a high security hospital next week. I'm just wondering how people like him get well.. I'd like to learn that and be part of someone like that's progress, but then it seems the control and restraint that we learnt is nothing when we face someone like him.. I know some of the guys on my ward used to be very mad before too. I hope some time in the future I'd get to explore the more severe area. :)

Grateful :D

2011-07-30T23:11:00.002+01:00

一个累字形容今天

可是心里却满满是感恩 :D

我想有时候我把人性想得不够好

这世界有太多值得让我学习的人...

P.S. I'll elaborate what happened when everything is confirmed and when I've got some spare energy.

Halo August

2011-07-29T17:17:00.003+01:00

It's nearly the end of July, and I have not had any update for nearly two months, surprisingly when I checked my viewers there are still about 4 visitors on average every day, I guess it's still the old debatable posts that are receiving attentions (rather than any friends/family).

Life has not been too busy, I simply lost the passion to blog :S.

Something really important to note is that I have turned into an auntie on July the 13th, welcoming my niece to the world. :) She's also a rabbit (Chinese zodiac), was born also at 2+ o'clock in the early morning, just like me, ha ha.

I'm still a grateful person (pure random), though I went through a kind of depressive period when I first came back to London again in June. But things are all good now, sometimes we forget who we are. Sometimes we forget what we really want and need. Sometimes we just focus too much on certain things and overlook other important things.

In 1.5 months, I'm going to be here for 5 whole years. :O

I no longer know how to write a proper blog post...

Compliments to TGV, Bukit Tinggi

2011-06-01T16:40:00.000+01:00

Went to watch a movie Kung Fu Panda 2 in TGV, Bukit Tinggi today with a friend. Although the movie is good and I'll recommend it to most people, I'm not writing about it today...

We bought the tickets from the counter at around noon, and there were tickets ready by the machine after we stated what we wanted to watch, which was quite strange, but the cashier double checked and made sure the tickets matched what we wanted exactly (apart from the seats, which were even better). When time approached we went in for the movie, there was a man standing just by the row N (our seats were N9 and N10), and asked to see my tickets, I showed him and he led us out, explained to us that there was system errors- those two seats had been booked online by somebody else, and were taken. I was sort of disappointed and thinking what he could offer us. He then said that he could refund us, then also showed two cards (which was called something like compensation card(?)). My friend asked if there was any seat left in the same screen and he said no but he could offer us couple seat (which was slightly more expensive?) for the next time slot (screending an hour and 50 minutes later). We were cool with the later time since my friend had to wait for her sister anyway. Then he said he could refund us. By then we realized, we were going to get the refund, and still watching a later show (which we're happy with) with better seats [free of charge].

Wow, I didn't know such good service exists in Malaysia nowadays (lol). And this man is polite and very apologetic (well, sure ma, it's their fault!). I'd probably be quite happy if I get a refund and some very good attitudes, but now I get refund, good attitudes, and free good movie, so I'm very happy, and decided to write a compliment on my blog (oh am I too easily pleased?). Hahaha. Well done!

The other thing is he gave us back the torn tickets and just changed the details by hand, so I was like "how if they said we changed it ourselves" and wanted his name, he said they couldn't print a new one, then put his signature on the tickets and said the staff would recognize it was his. I should have got his name [just in case], but now I think if I had then he would get the compliment together. (Eventually we got in without any problem)

P.S. I also feel very paiseh when he explained [a lot] in Malay and I only heard the word "sistem", and asked to repeat in English after he finished. lol

405ml

2011-04-27T21:17:00.000+01:00

I went to blood donation again today after the first time on March last year. It seems that because this is a peak holiday season they need blood more desperately than they normally do and I keep receiving invitations, had been trying to book appointments but it always clashes with my working hours, till today.

This time I passed the iron level straight without too much 'effort'. Though when it came to giving blood, for some unknown reasons the blood just didn't flow, it kept running below the level, ended up having 4 different nurses kept coming around to look at me with 1 staying with me all the time. She explained to me the whole process normally takes 8-10 minutes and shouldn't exceed 15 minutes, and my blood flow could be as slow as the speed of 12ml/min (12x15 = 180ml, but we should be giving 475ml pack). Throughout the process I had been trying all the methods I know to relax myself and my arm, and also repeating opening and closing my palm (she said people don't normally need to do it for whole process =.=). At the end I managed to give 405ml before the time limit, which had some nurses cheering for me (because I was the last few ones, and because I was too slow then I became the last one, so generally they were all quite free at that time).

Luckily this time I suffered no bruise or dizziness :D. Unlike the first experience which was a bit traumatizing (read my post New Blood!). I just had a shower and it seemed that it bled a bit :S I probably tried too hard not to wet it. Anyway, another experience. :D

Who are you? Go away!

2011-04-22T21:42:00.000+01:00

Had been working for 11 days in a row which covered at least 15 shifts. What a dramatic day today, but let me talk about yesterday first. Went down to cover another ward's closed obs for 1.5hour, and I never had any good experience in that ward till yesterday - first time! The patient came out from his room after I sat there for 10minutes or so. Then I was talking to another staff saying I had never seen their rabbits (their ward has pet rabbits!!). So with the staff's agree I took the patient out to the garden and visited their rabbits. Very-the-cute. I heard one is pregnant so I asked which, the patient said "white one, the white one is the chick". That made me laugh (just found that funny). After that I played table tennis with him - never touched that for years! I wasn't playing too bad, though I kept telling him slow a bit because I'm and never be good on it. Overall the 1.5hours obs were good. :D

TODAY! well, after a long and tiring long day yesterday, I was allowed to come to work at 7+,8am today. First thing came in, I took a patient out on ground. Uptill Harefield Close, he started to turned left, I thought he just forgot as he is never well. So I called his name, at least 15-20 times! and get no response :S. Called on radio to the ward for few times, no response either. D: At the end called on C3 reception base, which [finally] someone respond to my call. Briefly said who and what happened on the radio. Then I started hearing unit coordinator started calling all response team to camlet 3. I know I was going to get the support. At the same time being worried because he was walking fast and far, I didn't want to get lost myself, especially I didn't know when radio was going to be out of range. I kept go on radio saying which road we were and towards what direction (morning with sunshine, this is the only time I'm good at direction! thank god!). Up till a place I called him again, he turned back and said "Who are you? go away!" (He sometimes would greet me with a big smile - and they are the same man!) So I could only follow him with a distance. Then we actually walked all the way to town (using a very long route). I borrowed mobile phone from one of two men I saw, which he happily lent me his iphone. When I was reporting, the patient was already very far from me (he's at least 6'3, and he doesn't walk slow!). Charged nurse from the ward asked me to go back, just go back. I replied with "I don't even know how to go back!" no phone, no wallet, not even a coin, no oyster card, no card (if got home key I can go home to get some money lol). So decided to try my luck on meeting a nice bus driver who would just take me to the hospital anyway (I believe everyone would). But upon reaching the bus stop, the response team came in a van! OMG, the whole feeling was just too complicated that I forgot to feel happy that they're finally here, yes I mean I forgot. The other charged nurse from my ward was in the van (sometimes call her mama xx as they all like to treat me like a baby). Then I told them the direction where I last seen him, and we managed to get him. But again he asked who they were (I didn't go down the car, just in case it was my problem) and shoo them away. We called the police. The police took quite sometime to come which isn't really usual (probably because today is a bank holiday - Good Friday). He told the police he wasn't a patient but a law student =.=. But police officers managed to get him into our van. Throughout the journey he kept on talking which.. his speech couldn't be understood. Though he also kept saying 'please stop whispering about me thank you'. (Sometimes we weren't even talking... =.=) Reached the ward, nothing much to note after that.

I think I had done well, and am grateful I had done running in the past (and still doing sometimes when the mood comes xD). Most staff think the same though some think I didn't really have to follow him for that far. Following him up is not necessary, as all we need to do is report what happened then we have done our part. But I felt I could manage, so I didn't choose to give up. :D But then now I think it's actually quite bad if he walked to somewhere I don't even know, and I'm there with no money, phone, identity etc. (I probably wouldn't have gone after him then). Then again everyone saw me would ask how I am / how I feel (they might not be able to believe their baby can take all these xD). They even planned to cancel another patient community leave as I was put down to take someone else to Hyde park and Camden town today - they think I'd done and walked enough. But at the end I still chose to go. And so now I'm knackered.

Overall, good experience, learnt something. I still like my job :D.

(When I typed that last sentence, all in a sudden remember that another patient called me fucking bitch when we couldn't facilitate smoke break. ehmm.. another long story, but then other patients actually tried to comfort me, so I was okay)

Adele's Someone Like You

2011-04-17T22:07:00.001+01:00

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

P.S. She's good!

Second time this year

2011-03-18T22:23:00.004Z

Bought my tickets to go back for my eldest bro's wedding this summer.

and yes, I'm flying home again.

Supposingly I wanted to get Singapore airlines as I'd then get to try the A380 double deck airbus (which, according to Bpeng, is super comfortable! :D)

but I spent too much time considering (actually just one night) and the price raise by £30+, and made the difference between sg airlines and Etihad airlines over £100

So I shall wait for my next opportunity........

P.S. April is coming, quarter of 2011 is going soon. This is getting unbelievable..

P.S. 2 People should really learn that by saying "Live life to the fullest", it doesn't mean working crazily or make your life real busy and filled, but do what you really want to do and what that will make you really contented, at the same time enjoy doing them! And don't forget to be grateful.

Japan, the world shares your grief

2011-03-12T22:20:00.001Z

I don't want to see the pictures and the videos, but when I was in the ward, I can't help stopping by the TV watching the news seeing how it's like now. I want to know how they are now, but at the same time I can't bear the pain T__T

It just reminded me years ago the Si Chuan earthquake, that was a final exam period in May, every morning I woke up, read those news with my breakfast, hoping things were getting better, at the same time being very thankful I could be sitting there and studying for my exam (there were kids who were in class and buried under the school buildings when it happened)

Japan, stay strong.

and people, we should all learn to be more grateful...

P.S. sometimes it's terrifying to think what the nature can do to us little humans..

I despise you

2011-02-27T22:09:00.000Z

I wasn't feeling very well (physically + psychologically) when I went to work today. Physically unwell was due to the weather - the temperature just dropped so much suddenly T__T

I am not very sure why I wasn't in very good mood, until before I got home, I spoke to one of the patients in games area, and that really helped. I think I helped him, and in return that has helped me indirectly.

What we discussed made me realized I am really not happy with those qualified nurses who want to work awful loads of bank shifts and long days, but come to work and sit in front of computer, surf the net and do online shopping, otherwise gossiping about others. These people think only about their pay, never have one to one with their patients, never spend time outside the office, never understand their patients. They never think how to help the patients. They never know whether their patient is happy, is feeling safe, is ok, is progressing in the ward. They care nothing but money.

I don't know how they become a nurse, a nurse without a heart of helping patients getting better. I told the patient I wanted to speak to the ward manager regarding that, and he said no. He said he was telling me because he treats me as a friend, and those are friends talk, he said it's ok, he can get himself out of there and he is progressing, he can talk to the consultant every week (or sometime fortnightly). I feel sad for this whole system, for them. Those people are so well paid to help them, yet they get no help, nobody talks to them. There was once he requested to have a one to one with his named nurse, the named nurse asked him to wait till weekend, but nothing happened during the weekend. The fact is, those named nurses are supposed to ask to have one to one with the patients! Then I told the patient, I know and have seen all these happen in front of me, yet I could do nothing. That's why I was so upset. Actually it might not be true.. I think I could do something.. =)

Equal Opportunity and Diversity

2011-02-22T22:07:00.004Z

Attended a mandatory training course today which covered Equal Opportunity and Diversity, Health and Safety, Fire, Safeguarding Vulnerable Adults and Children, Infection Control, and Confidentiality and Information Governance. The first session was the one with the most discussions and debates, that the presenter didn't even manage to complete 50% of her slides within the given time.

As a woman, I think quite often we receive positive discrimination (PD). PD, according to the presenter, is unlawful. Give a very obvious example. The ward that I'm working on is a male ward, although there are slightly more female than male staff in the ward, there are quite a number of jobs that could only (or preferably) completed by male staff. E.g. searching service users coming back from unescorted (ground/community) leave, there are about 4-8 times a day in my ward now (more coming); doing their UDS (Urine Drug Screen) etc. And yet, I couldn't really think of a job (in my ward) that can only be done by female. So see? It could be unfair... (just could be, because we are very nice females, so we would even that up with doing some other jobs for the male staff).

The presenter gave an example of "positive action" (which is lawful) - a university lower the entry requirement for the ethnic minority (I think she used "Blacks" during the presentation, which I think isn't appropriate), so the Whites have got to have 3As to enter while the Blacks could enter with 3Bs. She added further, it ended up with more Blacks dropping out, simple because they couldn't follow the course, as they were not as competent.

What do you think?

In that room, there were more ethnic minority (opps! so no longer "minority"?), there were more Blacks than Whites as well. I don't know what the others think. But to me, to give this example at the first place, IS already a discrimination itself! Think about it again. One, the whole example based on that "fact" (what they believe genuinely, but I don't think it's true at all) that Blacks are less intelligent than Whites (so that most of them can only enter with 3Bs, so that they would drop out even after they were admitted). Isn't this a discrimination? Nobody pointed that out, and of course I wouldn't. Because I'm neither a White nor a Black, and I wouldn't want to cause more debates or war. Two, I see no point of giving this example!

I don't know what made the Whites always think they are more capable, more competent than the Blacks. From the people that I've known, I can confirm that Whites are no more intelligent than Blacks. Of course I have a Psychology degree, I should know how that conclusion came out, that some researchers did some research that they thought it was very well considered and fair - then concluded that Whites are simply better. I can tell you two things. One, it COULD be true in the past, but it's definitely no longer true. Given that they always think they're better, so they are far less hardworking (ok, I mean they're lazy), over decades they ended up with people who think they are good but only in talking Big. Two, the 'fact' just can't be true. Because research can never be fair, in a field (i.e. investigating intelligence) like this. Language is one thing, culture is another (and many more). Of course a Black could be born and brought up learning and speaking only English, in the Britain (as an English speaking and English culture example here), but how about his parents and external families? How about friends that he makes? Can the intelligence tests consider all these factors? It just can't be fair.

I don't know why I get myself into that Black & White Intelligence debates. It seems that I'm in favour of Blacks. But the fact is, no, I'm not, I'm just not in favour of Whites (see my post Discrimination), especially when it comes to the feelings that they think they are better in any and every way than the others.

Of course, there are very intelligent Whites, very intelligent Blacks, very intelligent Mixed, Brown, Yellow, Colourful, whatever. I'm not writing to offend anyone, especially my White friends. I'd happily accept if they're in "fact" more intelligent, yet this thing can't be proven (and we dont have to! What is the point of doing that?). And more importantly, I wish the Whites are aware, that their thought of they're better naturally, are going to make them less competitive and more lazy, are making them worse which in some days later, would reflect through genes.

P.S. I wouldn't disagree that myself is also discriminating. Afterall, that's just a mean of "categorizing" like I mentioned in my other post. There are always debates. But I'd suggest the presenter who do topics like this should have more concerns.

Just a little add-on

I mentioned languages, so often one of my White colleagues enjoys correcting others' grammar mistakes, I remember there was once my Black colleague replied, "please! English is not my first language". Exactly! Can you speak Mandarin, Malay, Hokkien, Cantonese like me? If you could, I'm going to speak English just as good as you do! Although, I'm quite happily corrected, because that's a mean of learning, but sometimes this man could be annoying to others who don't pay as much attention to grammars.

Journey to the East

2011-01-31T18:27:00.002Z

In Dubai International airport now. Another 10 hours of wait =.=

So far everything has been great, apart from the fact that I didn’t manage to get some sleep during my first flight, instead I watched 3 movies – Salt, 127 Hours and Love in Disguise (Mandarin).

And also my head was hit by a baggage from an old man sitting in front of me. I didn’t know how that happened, as I wasn’t facing him, just got hit, heard sorrys. I didn’t say “it’s ok” this time, because it wasn’t ok at all! I know that isn’t intentional, I know he apologized, but I didn’t smile and show my friendly face at all =/. It really hurts =S. Hopefully it’s not going to show any symptoms that are going to cost my holidays =S.

Very thankful though, for all the guys that had offered a hand to carry my big luggage. As I put my laptop backpack in it (until before I checked the luggage in), so I guess it was at least 25-6kgs. Whenever I see stairs my face turns green, and whenever guys see me by the stairs they offered help! But I can see that their faces turn green when they’re carrying it. Ha ha ha. I’m sure next time they would forget the heroic act xD.

OK let’s talk about the movies. I have heard about Salt being a great movie, I’d say it’s quite good, but just.. hmm, ok, it made me feel like those Jackie Chan’s action movies, which I’m already quite bored watching them, but then Jackie Chan’s are still way better, because they always make you laugh, and I do think the “actions” are more presentable, compared to Salt. But still, it’s good.

127 hours. I heard extreme views about it. Some said it was good, I read from paper saying it’s a must watch. Whereas there are also friends who class it as one of the worst movies they’ve ever watched. I’d say it’s just OK. Although I expected something better, especially having known that its director was the one of Slumdog Millionaire. At some points it was a bit boring. And, I don’t normally enjoy movies with known storyline and/or endings. The 127 Hours, apparently based on true story, and the whole storyline (i.e. he cut his hand off etc) could be read anywhere on news or reviews when it first came out. Still, recommended.

Love in Disguise. what can I say? I know it isn’t good. I watched simply because I want to show sign of support to LeeHom, although, hahaha, I’m not watching in cinema anyway. It’s OK. The funny thing is, it’s trying to be funny, the normal-serious-me wouldn’t laugh at all, yet it managed to get me laugh quite a few times (which could be a bit embarrassing, but I don’t care =p). And also it was landing, so I handed back my earphone, I missed the last part song, which I guess is very important and central to the movie. (well, the whole movie is about music, isn’t it!)

My plan for next journey is sleep. I wouldn't even mind skipping the meals, and get only drinks. But I wonder if I would be able to sleep. Otherwise I'm going to watch Eat Pray Love. Haha, planned! I saw Conviction in the list as well, but I have it in my laptop, so would rather not watch on that little screen where you see your own reflection when you watch =.=

No plan for now! I honestly don't know what time it is in Dubai now. I only know I've got so long to wait. And I don't feel tired and secure to sleep, just like that. Before sitting down I've already walked from middle to west end of the whole airport, then walked to east end (where I'm sitting now). The airport is such a "class" that I couldn't even find a place to get a bottle of water, till I'm wondering whether I should get a Smirnoff or some branded perfume and drink them like water!

There was a frozen yoghurt shop (pinkberry?) that I feel like visiting. And also I could get a meal in Emirates Lounge (for passengers who transit for more than 4 hours), but I'm quite sure I'm not very interested in their food, ALTHOUGH their airlines (i.e. Emirates) served great meals. I had lamb curry just now, just feel like eating rice. Other than that I'd just wonder around, and try to spend some of my USD if I can find them in my bag =X. (they use AED/DHS, I only have GBP, RM and USD with me). And also they have got awful lots of places where you can use for charging your mobiles/notebooks + wireless - which should keep me entertained. (their plug same with UK's)

OK. Off to find water!

P.S. sad! why am I a fast typist? This long wordy post could have taken more time!

That's why I always say communication is important

2011-01-27T19:15:00.001Z

Read this:

Study: A Complete Stranger Understands You About as Well as Your Spouse Does

I don't believe this is true, despite the fact that the study found no significant difference comparing the two. But still, I find that astonishing, since it could be true to a certain degree, for most people.

...

The more I think about real life situations and examples, the more I'm convinced that these researchers are right.

So, speak out. =)

Discrimination?

2011-01-21T05:55:00.000Z

I didn't realize myself take that by heart, that I woke up early in the morning, recalling what they said, just like that. I thought I've been in this country long enough to be immune from discrimination - remember there was once when I was chatting with the ward doctor (a british who was born and brought up in the uk, and of India origin), I told him I don't care about (racial/colour) discrimination anymore, I'd just take it, because we're all human and it's normal to discriminate (in other word, it's just "categorizing"), I even gave him an example that through the 3+ years part time job that I've got during Uni, White people from this country are certainly far more lazy than others (and are only good in "talking" instead of "doing"), and I said "see? I discriminate them as well".

Yesterday came in a shift realized my favourite colleague was sent out to do two community leaves during one shift, and somehow I felt they bullied her, of course I didn't put it that way, but when she came in, I just said XXX you're a star!!. Then the other two started to tease me, saying "look at you". I know they were joking, but still I told them I came in 4 shifts in a row, and going out every single shift, which they didn't really listen to. The two person who teased me, one was a nursing assistant who never really does community leave, and whenever she is put down to do it, she would pick the person that she wants to take (and there are only 2 of them), or else she would do whatever to get herself out of it. While another is a qualified who probably has done only 1-2 community leave since the ward started 6 months ago. Opps, I forgot - both are Whites.

The whole incident was behind my mind all day long. I really didn't realize I actually mind it. It seems like my brain didn't manage to resolve the conflict feelings through dreams (a theory by Griffin & Tyrrell), so I was waken up and ... decided to blog about it ha ha.

And yes, I feel better. =)

Bye Bye UK's Bpeng

2011-01-16T23:10:00.007Z

Just came back from Birmingham this afternoon, went for a short trip to say good bye to UK's Bpeng. Hahaha. So what's this "UK's Bpeng"? Because I'm sure we're going to meet when I'm back to Klang, and hopefully we'd be friends for the rest of our lives. Yet she's leaving England on coming Tuesday, for good, i.e. probably not coming back anymore (unless for travelling? which wouldn't happen in near future). So the goodbye is only for the Bpeng in UK. xD

Although we hadn't lived together since June 2010. But we had been staying together since Sept 2006, in Harwick the student hall, then 2+ years in Elmfield house in Cheltenham. Without her I probably wouldn't even have come to this country =O. And she has been a very very very supportive and helpful housemate + friend + companion + coursemate =D.

Some pictures of us =D

Ski Trip in Austria. Dec 2008.

Fake smile xD. Dec 2008

Sammi's house. March 2009.

Graduation. Nov 2009.

Chiquito. June 2010.

Greece Trip. Oct 2010.

Thanks for everything and I wish all the best for you. =)

11.01.11

2011-01-11T21:55:00.002Z

2011.01.11, doesn't really mean anything to me, although LiJi tweet that we would have to wait for another thousand years until we get 11.01.11 again, yet I replied her, even it is 12.01.11 or 13.01.11, you would have to wait for another thousand years as well. So why make it so different, when every day could also be a special day? Ha ha. Originally I was saying that just to trick her =p

Received the parcel sent from pama and ahjeh October last year, brighten my day =). Nothing special, just some milos, oats etc. At some point of today, I was thinking about the parcel, till this came to my mind "now that I've got nothing, but MILO!" lol. 6.6kg. Crazy!

Few days ago, noticed from facebook that two high school friends went into a relationship. The girl is one of my besties, where we knew each other since we were 10 years old and by heart I treasure our friendship. I was shocked, One is the fact that they two, the two of them that I know quite well, went into a relationship, Two is that how could I know nothing at all? How can I know her getting into a relationship through facebook?!?!!! Although I didn't really believe it, as the possibility isn't high (in fact, it's super low), yet I chose to believe, and gave my blessings. Turned out what? Yesterday it was revealed that that's just a trick, for fun, to trick Bpeng in particular. What can I say? Nowadays we really shouldn't believe anything, trust anyone huh?!?! Nonsense. I'm going to punish her when I'm back!! Yes, I mean it!! =( You people should just learn the story of the boy who cried wolf!! Next time I ain't going to believe nothing!

I just realized that my blog has turned into such a personal one, that I don't blog about research, news, interesting, impersonal stuff anymore. =O

Pure Grumbling

2011-01-07T01:15:00.000Z

I'm just surprised how people can make a whole big issue when they're jealous and had been looking so hard to pick on you.

And I'd been waiting for someone who actually wasn't happy about it to come to talk to me face to face, and guess what? Nobody mentions it at all. They chose to back-stab me. I know why, because they never really get the opportunity. Now that they've got it, they will make full use of it.

But I'm still grateful. For people who know me, who would stand up for me, and would tell me face to face about it and about these people. So I learnt, learnt from the mistake, learnt their true faces and learnt how I'm going to return the favour next time, although I don't think I'm evil like them! BUT I will try! =/

P.S. actually there is only one person, yet I'm saying "they" because I know how easily people get themselves into those gossips and backstabbing.

P.S. 2 Being excellent in my own job is just my nature. Stop being jealous!

Good Bye 2010 and Happy 2011

2011-01-01T04:30:00.000Z

It's 2011.01.01 and I'm now in the ward doing night shift. A bit strange not having any particular feelings welcoming a new year, probably because I'm working. But it's probably the best night shift that I've ever done because I'm doing it with someone who can keep me talking and listening all night.

I would normally blog about what I've achieved and experienced at the end of each year. But this time I'm not going to bother those bits and pieces, just some significant memories that come to my mind at the moment.

Beginning of last year Erge has got married, which is my first sibling getting married, and made my family into seven members, major event of my family in recent years. I also went back for Chinese New Year after missing it for 4 consecutive years.

Major life change would be the job that I have got at April and started working full time for the North London Forensic Service at July, which is my first ever full time job. A job I have enjoyed to the fullest and been trying to learn as much as I could. It changes my mind regarding how I can help the mentally ill, stimulate my brain, and inspire me what I want to do in the future. Get to know group of very supportive and helpful colleagues.

Surprisingly this year, opps, I mean last year we only visited Greece - normally would have been to more places. That was a great trip with Bpeng, Peiman and Felicia - hopefully not our last trip together.

Other than that, there was also my first blood donation experience (New Blood!), moving out to live on my own in London (Officially a Londoner), first theatre experience watching the Phantom of the Opera and first thought of seeing someone from an entirely different culture.

And I'm just very grateful, for whatever I've got in the past years, hoping the 2011 would be good as well, if not better. That's for now. Wishing everyone a blessed and healthy year. =)

Hmmph!

2010-12-25T23:24:00.000Z

Can't bear this bad feeling after the phone call =S

I wonder if I did anything wrong, where I couldn't see the problem at all

yet she was saying it as if she is just trying to be nice

so I must be the baddie, with very bad communication skills, and worse, I can't manage my emotions. Though I could only be silent when I was angry and upset

Perhaps think it this way, too many good things happened on me, and there must be up and down in life =S

I know I can take this, it shouldn't keep me low for long

and I will pay for it, whatever it costs

but woman, I'm doing this, because I don't want to be rude

P.S. Merry Christmas!

Can't wait for boxing day next! Shopping time xD =X

P.S. My housemates are bloody good cooks and they are nice people!

I should have realized this earlier =)

Here comes December

2010-12-02T23:06:00.002Z

Unbelievable, it's already December of 2010!!!

Just 3 more weeks until Christmas and 4 weeks until 2011!

and 1 more month till I work for half a year in north london forensic service.

Still considering whether to get the tickets to fly back during chinese new year!

Just because I'm sure I will be going back during May-June for gogo's wedding, and probably end of the year for good, I really see no point of going back 3 times a year if I go back during February.

But then! I don't know what I can do with my annual leaves..

In general colleagues take their annual leaves and rest at home.. But having 1-2 day off a week is more than enough for a hyper person like me..

I don't need annual leaves to relax =S

I want to go travelling, but it's cold and SNOWING everywhere, plus bpeng and the others are going back for cny.

I don't want to be here with friends and colleagues who don't celebrate cny =S

So... go back?

Talk about snowing! Remember first year when we came, how desperate we were to see snow

how excited we were to see a bit of snow!

and look at now! it's just autumn! it's just november when it started to snow!

and it snowed cats and dogs!! (opps! does this idiom exist? xD)

In the ward we have got the x'mas tree up and decorations all over the place already.. plus the snowing scenes.. just lovely!

I really enjoy watching snow, beautiful! =)))

On Monday went to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow with a patient

it was good =)

but I feel it was a bit dragging unlike the previous ones, it could be the cold in the cinema as the heating wasn't working

thanks to my patient who was trying to warm my hand.. haha =.=

Then I watched a second time with another patient yesterday..

Could have let somebody else go if I knew he was going to watch HP as well

Anyway, I still couldn't think of another job better than mine at the moment =p

Not sure where are the girls now.. must be all over the places with their families

Congratulations to bp, pm and fs for their graduations! though it was long time ago =.=

Hmmm.. Let's just enjoy the last bits of the year!

I don't want to see this happens

2010-11-19T21:20:00.004Z

A bit of heartache. A patient was restraint to be given his depot today, and I was part of the restrain members. This patient, he had been muted for about 2 years, and when he first came to our ward, I was the first person he spoke to, and the ward manager was quite impressed that I managed to get him talked. Now that I saw that happened, I feel pain for him. He's not a difficult patient, 100% not. But this happens every week. Because he doesn't want to consent that he has got mental illness, by accepting the depot voluntarily, it simply means he has got mental illness, so he would decline, so we would need to restrain and inject him. He was strongly defending, 6-7 of us were holding him, and he still managed to move. After this, I've got no courage to look into his eyes. For no reasons, I feel guilty. =.=

This reminds me of another patient's words. At first he defended himself, he fought back. That led to more medications and seclusion, so he learnt, he learnt to be complied, because he wants to get himself out of here. Are patients actually getting better, or do they just learn to pretend better?

No fear

2010-11-03T21:58:00.001Z

今天在巴士上擠沙丁魚的時候收到六個 missed calls (話説巴士擠得根本不可能把手機拿出來只能尷尬地讓它一直震動)

後來下了巴士才發現六個 missed calls 都來自經理的手機因爲我的 mentor 把我寫給他的話轉給他了

今天是我的假日也是他的假日可是他知道后就打了那麽多多多多電話給我

回他電話講了十多分鐘還聽見他的小孩在吵鬧 xD

真的工作狂一個

事情是關於我值夜班的時候一些不負責任的 seniors 爲了睡覺把我一個人留在 ward 裏連休息的機會都沒有 (重點不在我休息與否在於把一個 23 嵗的女生獨自留在 18 個有犯罪前科的male ward, 爲了不要讓同事看見而間接連累當晚的seniors 所以我選擇用中文打 =.=)

本來我想讓事情過去了也以爲已經過去了沒想到 mentor 放假回來看見我上個星期的 email

就馬上讓經理知道了跟經理說完話心情還沒怎麽能平復

我怎麽會有那麽好的經理和 mentor..?!?!

昨天才說起這個 supervisor (mentor) 真的超好今天又要稱讚他們兩個一次了

很多時候會有麻煩會有一點委屈會很累可是每次都因爲這些很善良很 supportive 的 seniors, 而覺得沒有事情了

有時候晚上九點值完班同事會覺得外面很黑很冷把我送到家門口

不是我眼淺(吧?) 是他們真的很照顧我

說到底其實來來去去有問題的都是一樣的人我開不開口這兩三個人也一直是大家不希望一起工作的人 (天用中文敍述事情好難!)

不管怎樣身在這個 ward 還是沒有辦法不覺得太幸運~ XD

I'm never scared, never afraid, never feel threaten, because whenever things happen, I know a whole bunch of them would be there for me, would give me a hand, would stand up for me, and this bunch of people, includes probably 70% of the patients.

NHS, are you helping them?

2010-10-23T23:31:00.000+01:00

Took a patient out on grounds today, had a very thoughtful conversation with him, or should I say, he has told me about his thought regarding the way this place treating mentally ill patients, and whether or not this is helping them.

I have had this thought probably since the second month I work there - are we helping them? are they progressing? should they be here or in the community? You wouldn't believe it until you actually work there, that how much money NHS is spending on them, and what is actually coming in returns.

Well, I'm not a qualified nurse, neither am I a clinical psychologist (yet), I might not give the most accurate fact that reflects the truth, but the patients, they are the central of the whole system (the hospital, the treatments, the multidisciplinary team, the nhs), shouldn't their thought count and be deeply considered? I know, some of them are really not that well, what they say might not be beneficial to themselves, and they might be saying all these simply because they want to get themselves out of the hospital. But this particular patient, he just spoke out what I think, that there is no point of keeping them there, for years and years, doing nothing every day, not knowing when they will be discharged, not being involved in the outside world etc etc. If we want to give them treatment and make them better, we should do it every day, every single day, not like once a week. If we were to organize courses, make it a daily one, not like once a week. The thought of not knowing when they can leave is simply depressing - and I strongly agree with this. They all know they are wasting their time, their lives, missing many important parts of lives, losing contacts with theirs loved ones. I actually feel sad when I heard these, because I know he is right.

Unlike yesterday when another patient told me that he has wasted too much time in the hospital, he wants to get out and carry on with his life, I was still aware that this patient will still have to stay for longer, as I know his condition isn't really good, especially when he first came, he was so unsettled. But patient that I took out today, I deeply hope that he would get himself out asap and never come back.

You know, I don't mean that all the patients should be discharged in 2-3 months.. There are always cases taking few years until they really recover. The thing is, when we keep them in there, why are we keeping them in there? And are they progressing? Are we helping them? I mean if we were to keep them for 10 years, make sure they are getting better in these 10 years, but not getting depressed not knowing when the stay would come to an end. Like what the patient said, they would have to be very strong, very tough, to be able to stay there for that long without any suicidal thought. I could imagine that, it's not easy, at all.

And guess what, I will listen to him - the day and the time when I become a clinical psychologist, I would do my best to make sure myself, also including the system are helping these people (just that, by the time I wouldn't be in the UK anymore). I know how advance this country is, but it doesn't mean their methods are always right and good, and sometimes, things keep on developing, and it could simply and blindly not developing to a right direction.

Patient Kicked off

2010-10-20T13:35:00.002+01:00

It was my first day doing response in the ward yesterday.

Firstly I think I'd explain what is "response"? Basically every single staff and visitor would carry an alarm whenever they are in the ward. And when emergency cases happen (e.g. patients trying to attack you, patients fighting, patients doing self harm etc), we would press the alarm. In every ward, there would be one staff who is doing response in every shift. They carry a radio, a bunch of keys and a pager. So when someone presses the alarm, it would first come on the pager, saying, for example XX ward, staff base (or games area, or dining room, or west corridor etc, wherever the emergency case takes place. and yes, the alarm would locate where the person who presses the alarm is).

My first ever experience doing response yesterday was in another ward down stairs, which is an acute ward. I was the first two arriving there, and saw a patient was kicking off, but was restraint by 2 female staff (which apparently was from that ward itself), so the male response team took over the restraint (we learnt this during the TAMVA course, see my previous post).

The patient was very very unstabled, apparently he was responding to external stimuli, asking "why are you doing this to me? come fight me! you coward! come fight me. you spoilt my life. i lost everyone in my life now. now! come fight me" etc etc. For 10 minutes, he was talking with another person who doesnt exist. Staff trying to calm him down, but he couldn't listen to any of us and just carried on shouting. He tried to hit his head, tried to kick (his hands were restraint, and at the end so were his legs) and refused any medications.

About 15 minutes later, he stopped. And I could see his hands really trembling, he asked, "what happened?" The staff said they would discuss it later, they want him to rest for a while first, and calm down first. He said "I'm really scared. What happened? What just happened? Did I hurt anyone? I'm really scared" Despite staff stating that he did not hurt anyone, apparently he was so worried and scared about what just happened, he had entirely no memory on what just happened, and his hands were really shaking. At this point, he took his medications, but still asking what just happened. We left his room after he took the medications.

I went back to my ward after that, about 3 hours later when I was on another response in the same ward, I saw him, and he looked really fine, calm and steady, pacing in the ward. (This second response was another patient refusing depot and got a bit aggressive).

I'm happy he wasn't sent into seclusion room. I guess one main reason was because their ward seclusion was occupied at the moment, if they wanted to send this patient to seclusion, it would have to be the seclusion in my ward.. and that would really keep my ward busy and more unsettled. But I'm happy not because of this reason, I think sending patients like this into seclusion room wouldn't help them, when you're in an total empty room, four walls, one mattress and nothing else, for 24 hours every day, that would just make their conditions worse. They would simply become more unsettled.

It's the first time I really noticed one patient actually kicked off, it was really a shock in me, especially when I saw how he trembled and scared not knowing what himself just did. and am glad how settled my ward patients are. Though it's good, that I start doing response and see what is happening in other wards.

When I went back to my ward, passed by my manager's office, he asked how it was and I told him what happened. He said "good stuff", I thought that was just his habit of saying it. But when I went back to office, they all asked me how it was. Haha, the charged nurse told me, Phil worried that I couldn't handle it, but she said I look like I could survive everything, and I'd proven her right. =)

Accommodation During Greece Trip

2010-10-18T16:45:00.001+01:00

All About Greece 4: Where to stay?

I think I had never really stayed in an apartment while travelling with friends and this was probably my first experience. And guess what, I'd strongly recommend it if you have got enough number of people to share it (an apartment) with. As its facilities and services were far better than 2-3 stars hotels in general.

The apartment that we stayed in Rethymno, Crete was Aloe Apartments. The location is good, very close to the beach and mini markets. The facilities were superb. The only thing which isn't that good was probably their reception isn't 24 hours, so the help is not there all day long. And also the hot water seems to be limited and I showered in cold water on the first night. However, these did not really affect. On the last day when we checked out, the receptionist even offered to give us a lift to the bus station, how nice was that! And during the journey, he wished that we would write a review of the apartment in Mandarin. Hahaha. (Prices were 96 euro for 2 nights, 4 persons/apartment, breakfast not included)

Two single bed in the living room. - Aloe Apartments.

Room. - Aloe Apartments.

The kitchen and the dining area. - Aloe Apartments.

We stayed in Irini Hotel in Heraklion. To be honest, I can't really think of anything good about this hotel. It isn't that bad, just that, it wouldn't be what I will recommend (Prices were 132 euro for 2 nights, 4 persons/room, breakfast not included).

We spent three nights at Lion Apartments, Athens. We got into quite some troubles finding this apartment, asking pedestrian, police, ambulance until we finally found it. Its service and facilities were really good though. We get there before 9am, and the room service lady get the room ready and let us check in at early morning without putting any extra charges. She was really friendly and helpful, explaining every single things in the apartment, helped us with our luggages, and worked really efficiently, without hoping for tips (we planned to give her but didn't see her again after that first day). (Prices were 270 euro for 3 nights, 4 persons/apartment, breakfast not included, free wireless). I'd recommend it if you don't mind that the location was a bit far from metro stations.

View from our room.

Also, if you're travelling between islands and mainlands, I'd say taking a night ferry would save you some money and time, the only disadvantage is that you would hardly sleep comfortably on the ferry unless you get a room (but then it'd be costly). We bought "deck" tickets which cost us less than 30 euros per person (Anek Lines). Although we did not get the chance to try, I think they served good food as well.

The ferry we took.

All About Greece 1: Airport Taxe/Cab in Crete

All About Greece 2: Athens or Islands?

All About Greece 3: Restaurants "Customering" and Culture

Restaurant "Customering" in Greece

2010-10-15T00:01:00.000+01:00

All About Greece 3: Restaurant "Customering" and Culture

When we were walking in Greece, one thing we found is that there would always be someone standing in front or at the door side of the restaurant, and trying to get some customers into their restaurant, or at least look at their menus.

Remember on the first night at Rethymno, when there was a man trying to convince us to try their Greek dishes, we were just being polite and said we have eaten, at the end we picked another one. The next day we passed by it again, the same guy, recognizing us, saying that we should really visit him this day, as we sort of lied the day before, and he saw us dining in another restaurant etc etc.

What do you think about this? For me, we were just trying to reject him in a polite way (as our apartment receptionist recommended us some restaurants already), and he was being very rude to say that to us. We're the ones paying, shouldn't we get to choose what we want? =S

Just be aware of this, and if you're not going to eat anything, just try not to walk pass one whole row of restaurants.. you'd probably get tired saying no!

The other thing is about tips. On our first night in Athens, after finished dining, we asked for the bills and paid the total. One first man came by our table and "reminded" us that service charge wasn't included. When we were still discussing whether to pay tips and how much to pay, a second man came and collected the money on the table, counting, before leaving our table, he said "put the tips on the table! put the tips on the table" Imagine our expressions. =.= I was a bit pissed off and said we shouldn't be paying tips to people like this! How can he ORDERED us to pay him tips?! And guess what, at the end we left €0.10 on the table!

Just remember this restaurant.. it's close to Athens Monastiraki metro station..

All about Greece 1: Airport taxi/cab in Crete

All about Greece 2: Athens or Islands?

Athens VS Greece Islands

2010-10-14T12:17:00.003+01:00

All About Greece 2: Athens or Islands?

We went to an island called Crete in Greece, spent 4 nights over there (2 nights in Rethynmo, 2 nights in Heraklion), and then took a night ferry to Athens, spent another 3 nights in Athens.

For me, before I had been there, Athens is a place that I must go, for the history that we have learnt about it since young, for the name "雅典"! It simply sounds like a "must go" to me. While Greece at the same time, is famous with its islands and beaches.

Whether you want Athens or an island, it really depends what kind of trip you're up to. Rethymno is such a relaxing place, very blue sea and sky, nice hot weather, long beach (we even play monopoly card games on the beach xD), great Greek food with very reasonable prices.. There are also some historical places if all day beach time is too much for you.

While Athens.. to be honest, what you see is stones and pillars.. We can spend whole day at and around Acropolis and Museum of Acropolis. Are you interested to learn about their history, their Gods, the wars etc?

I'd say depending on your holiday mood and state, go to either one (but pure Athens visit sounds quite dry for me =X). But if you want to be like us, visiting both, go to Athens first and then the islands! You'd have the Greek specialist food and seafood crazily when you arrive the island, and enjoy the weather to the fullest!

Also, if you're not so into great sunshine and sun bathing, I would say September and early October is a good time to visit Greece.

All About Greece 1: Airport taxi/cab in Crete

Airport Taxi/Cab in Greece (Crete)

2010-10-13T22:55:00.001+01:00

All About Greece 1: Airport Taxi/Cab in Crete

The first ever lesson we learnt from Greece when we arrived in the airport in Crete, is the money faces of the taxi drivers surrounding the airport. They approached us and asked where we were up to (Rethymno). And then I asked him whether he could provide me with information about getting there, with the cheapest way, he said yes. He first analysed about taking bus-

*€2 to Heraklion town centre

*€12 to Rethymno

*€10-20 to your hotel

*Took you 4 hours

However, if you use a taxi, we could get there in an hour with about €80 (€100 at first), which is a huge saving for the four of us. He was right - four persons is the perfect number to take a cab.

We decided to consider and said that we would come back to him. I was thinking, he must be right to say that it costs €2 to go to Heraklion, since it's 2mins away from bus stop, I can ask for the price how easily. But that isn't the case! We asked the bus ticket to Heraklion and it costs only €0.90! and the truth is

*€0.90 to Heraklion

*€6.90 to Rethymno

*€1.25 to accommodation by cab (€5 for 4 persons). We walked towards the wrong direction (due to an google map error) and decided to take a cab from the old town to our apartment (Aloe Apartment). Or we could have saved this money.

*3+ hours (because we spent time walking towards the wrong direction)

See the difference?? (4 of us spent €36.20, compared to €80) They simply doubled up the prices and exaggerated the duration and convinced you to take taxi. They know you're carrying your heavy luggage(s) and just want to get to your hotel/apartment and check in asap. So, beware of those taxi drivers at airport, whether or not they are licensed, whether or not they look/act professional, whether or not they sound reasonable.

Greece!!

2010-10-02T20:13:00.003+01:00

Ah Ah Ah!! I'm feeling so strange now! bloody strange! when I'm supposed to be very excited but I am not! why?!

Tomorrow night I will be off from Enfield to Greece!

But my holiday mood just ain't here yet =(

where're you?!

Athens in Greece, it's on the top of my list! How can I not feeling excited? =S

This week has been "a week" for me..

Worked on Monday, had a bad shift as I was sent to Sage ward, which wasn't very good experience as they placed me to do the obs in seclusion room, I was so depressed by the end of the shift.

Tuesday I attended the TAMVA (Team Approach in Managing Violence and Aggression, if im not mistaken) training course. Not easy, many to pick up, a lot of physical activities! Get to know some nice friendly people from other wards too. Phil came to find me and told me that my supervisor has been changed! I was bloody happy. =) Not that the old one isn't good, but I really like the new one, who works the same style like me.. =)

Wednesday again attending the course, legs started to be sore.. But I started to enjoy the course and the process, despite so many bruises on my body =S

Thursday.. The assessment day of the training. I was damn bloody brave to be the first to be assessed as a team leader, and guess what? I got full score being a team leader! =D I was a bit too nervous when doing the team member part.. but still, I passed the course! One of my colleague did not make it though... hope she will be fine next time =)

Back to ward again on Friday, with super sore legs, can't even walk on the stairs! Was nearly sent to Sage ward again, but thanks god Phil was in this day, and he was right, no point exchange me with an agent nurse who can't do anything! Took one of my favourite patients out for a walk, in the rain - wasn't romantic though.. xD.

And here I started my 13 days off! =D But it was a bit of rush.. the holiday mood isn't here, and I just don't feel like get things packed! =S Didn't do any pre-trip "homework".. But! I'm quite excited and expecting good weather over there... rather than staying in this bloody London weather =S

Hope it would be a great trip! I haven't been leaving this country for a trip for long!!!!

A quote

2010-09-24T23:59:00.002+01:00

I treat them [mentally ill patients in the forensic unit] as a human being, like someone's son, someone's brother, someone's husband, someone's dad. But at the back of my head, I never forget, why these people are here.

(Thomas, 2010)

I quoted this from a Charged Nurse (a position between ward manager and a qualified nurse) in my ward during an am-pm shift handover yesterday. She said it so naturally, but it was very impressive. This woman, I see from her, how patient care is.. what does it mean to be caring, the way she does her job, the way she helps the patients, the way she spends time out from the office with the patients, are what releasing care suppose to be.

Simply impressed, think it is worth a post in my blog!

公私分明

2010-09-18T12:37:00.011+01:00

我在想從事我們這類型行業的人是有可能公私分明的嗎?

就是像我們這種以"人"為工作中心的行業

有可能説我回到家就絕對不會想公事也不會把工作情緒煩惱帶回家可能嗎?

我覺得就算不是以"人"爲中心的行業都很難了更別説我們了

像我的 ward manager 他是個工作狂 (我都叫他 workaholic 他還說我像他 =.=)

有時候禮拜六早上七點去到 ward 裏

他明明 day off, 但是也會打電話 update 我們一些事 =.=

他滿腦子都在想我們 ward patients and staff.. 這樣會不好嗎?

我猜可能對他的家人來説會有一定的困擾

但是這種幹勁積極和所投注的時間精力

絕對是他這麽年輕就是個 band 7 經理級人物的原因之一

所以分析了一下我又覺得沒辦法把公私分得那麽清楚好像也沒有關係

會這麽想是因爲禮拜一 ward 裏跟我一樣早期在的一個病人會被 discharged了

每天這麽相處真的能沒什麽感覺送走他們嗎?

當然不會希望他又做了什麽或者出什麽狀況而回來

但是我真的不是個習慣這樣讓別人從我生命來來去去的人 =.=

Reblog: A letter by a Malaysian in the USA

2010-08-26T21:16:00.003+01:00

For people who are always interested in some issues regarding Asian/Malaysian living in western countries, there are some interesting comments going on there.

And guess what, now that I think I can be one of those who also actually write something about it, after months of working for the largest employer in the Europe - NHS and months of living in London.

But, I'm not ready yet with this "A letter by a Malaysian in the UK". Hahaha... Should I say, stay tuned? xD

菲前警官騎劫旅巴新聞

2010-08-25T10:28:00.010+01:00

菲律賓血腥悲劇感人情節夫擋子彈捨命護妻

今早起身看完這篇 T__T

雖然昨天就從新聞和一些 facebook link 知道了

可是看完報道還是很難過

沒辦法想象原本開開心心去旅遊最後丟命的

臨死要經歷那麽多小時的折磨

還有殉職的導遊

那些保護家人的還有那個帶“別人的小孩”下車的婦女好偉大好厲害能急中生智

哎人性太複雜社會太多不平衡的人和事

這種受到不公平待遇而心生怨恨最後導致流血事件的也不少了

要怎樣使人們得到宣洩的管道怎樣減少不平衡的社會 ==?

或許社會裏多一點愛每個人心裏多一點愛

就能改變一個人的想法就能改變一場悲劇的結局

Part of the Growth

2010-08-23T23:15:00.001+01:00

Every time I get some time to talk individually to my ward manager or one of the charged nurses, tears would fill my eyes. At times I've been feeling stressful and confused, but after each talk I'd always be alright. Today again. And I feel they appreciate me so much, that all those hard works and at times some hard feelings are worth, absolutely worth. Phil has been asking me to take some days off, because I've been working so much and so hard. But to be honest, I really like to spend time in ward, despite at times some colleagues are so...

Perhaps what's scary is not the patients with criminal backgrounds, but the complexity of human brain and behaviours. I feel fine working, talking, dealing with the patients, but not some of the colleagues! They are the ones who make me feel stressed. I know there is no perfect and ideal job. And I know no matter where I go, this colleagues-colleagues conflict would appear, and it's something that I ought to learn. I need to stress that I'm not involved directly in any of these conflicts, but perhaps I'm just looking young and innocent, people tend to tell their secrets to me and share the gossip with me.. and I feel soooo 囧 knowing so many things, all contradict to each other lol.

Anywayyyy, I'm fine, still love this job, enjoying the work, and grateful with what I've got and been learning. =)

我們說好的 - 張靚穎

2010-08-23T23:03:00.001+01:00

最近很喜歡的一首歌

好嗎一句話就哽住了喉
城市當背景的海市蜃樓
我們像分隔著一整個宇宙
再見都化作烏有

我們說好絕不放開相互牽的手
可現實說光有愛還不夠
走到分岔的路口
你向左我向右
我們都倔強得不曾回頭

我們說好就算分開一樣做朋友
時間說我們從此不可能再問候
人群中再次邂逅
你變得那麼瘦
我還是淪陷在你的眼眸

好嗎一句話就哽住了喉
城市當背景的海市蜃樓
我們像分隔著一整個宇宙
再見都化作烏有

我們說好絕不放開相互牽的手
可現實說光有愛還不夠
走到分岔的路口
你向左我向右
我們都倔強得不曾回頭

我們說好就算分開一樣做朋友
時間說我們從此不可能再問候
人群中再次邂逅
你變得那麼瘦
我還是淪陷在你的眼眸

我們說好一起老去看細水長流
卻將會成為別人的某某
又到分岔的路口
你向左我向右
我們都強忍著不曾回頭

我們說好下個永恆裡面再碰頭
愛情會活在當時光節節敗退後
下一次如果邂逅
你別再那麼瘦
我想一直淪陷在你的眼眸
這是無可救藥愛情的荒謬

Inception (2010)

2010-07-21T00:42:00.001+01:00

Your mind is the scene of the crime.

This is definitely one of the best-est movies I've ever watched in my life. Christopher Nolan, I'm going to remember this name (the writer and director of this movie, also the director/writer of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight). Thanks to friends who had been recommending it to me, especially yuan who believes so strongly that I'm going to like it or I wouldn't have watched it in the cinema.

Warning: Please stop reading if you haven't watched but planned to watch it.

Astounding is the word. It's so thoughtful. It made me link to a book that I was reading (and have stopped) "Human Given" (by J. Griffin & I. Tyrrell, 2003), their interpretations about dream was somehow related, although different.

How do we amend people's thought? How do we make people believe that what they believe is wrong? How do people differentiate what is reality and what is dream? How much do we know about subconscious? What can we do in subconscious state? Is collective dreaming actually possible?

I believe everyone has come out with all sort of questions after watching it. And in particular, I'm interested in the following:

How do we amend people's thought? Make them believe that what they believe is wrong or vice versa. For example, in my ward a patient used to believe that he had super power to control many things that happened (e.g. he watched the news that a kid was killed by a gun, and he believed that it was his power that made that happened, and felt guilty about it). What do we do to tell him it is not true? OR, who we are to tell him that it is NOT true? Because it's possible that what he thinks is true! who knows?

This brings out another question. How do we differentiate reality and unreality (whether it's dreams, hallucinations, etc)? We dream, we imagine, we create stories etc etc. In the book Human Given, the authors believed that people who developed schizophrenia, have got problems in differentiating dreams and reality. That is why they see things and hear sound that's not "real", as in in dreams. What make them believe that what they see/hear is real? And when they're cured, what make them believe that those are not real?

How about the ending? What do you think?? Somehow I believe that Cobb (Leonardo LiCapario - whoops my Jack in Titanic xD) got inception, and more importantly, it's by himself. A "scene" that he is so eagerly and desperately wanting to come across. You know the movie itself, even made me feel so eager to see the face of the kids! But how he get incepted? why? I don't know.

I would probably watch it again when download is available =X. Also looking for more in depth reviews, especially regarding the ending, and the connection between dreams and reality.

Inspiring. Amazing. There were tears in my eyes when I finished it. Thanks god this is a movie not a drama series, or I'd probably be thinking so much and get stuck in it xD. Yet I do hope for more inspiring and astounding psychology movies! =D

New Job. New Experience.

2010-07-09T19:25:00.001+01:00

I've finally started my first ever full time job after my Psychology degree in the Chase Farm Hospital! What would I describe my job after working for more than 35 hours this week? I told my ward manager that I'm enjoying it, and in fact, I am! This morning had a quick chat with bpeng, I described it as rewarding and interesting yet tiring.

It's basically a forensic mental health trust, a rehabilitation ward. I guess I shouldnt go into any details about any particular patient due to confidentiality issues, but from the words "forensic" and "mental health", guess you can grasp a rough idea of how the patients are like. and YET! it's a rehab ward, so those patients actually progressed from acute wards, and then being transferred to this ward, i.e. they're KIND OF stable. I know all of them by approaching them and talking to them first, all their first impressions in my head are good, nice and stable. But I get some time to look through their files of what they have been through, what kind of crimes they committed, what kind of behaviours they taken in the past, I was really O_O shocked, some of them had been in the system for about 20 years, and are still here.

Having said it's a forensic ward, the security level is actually very high. We're carrying the keys, identity scan and an alarm with us all the time. I felt fun in the beginning, and now I'm getting used to it. But right, the place itself feels like a community rather than a hospital, with most of the living basics. I worked a late shift yesterday, and I could sense a home feeling when I was sitting in the lobby watching tv with the patients xD, and then one of them taught me playing pools.

I've got really really nice ward manager (it's like a quality guarantee as sooo many people said to me that he's really good), and because I'm the only new (and young xD) nurse in the ward, I'm happy that most of the seniors are taking good care of me, sharing their experience and telling me what dos and donts.

And so, what do I do? basically it's surrounding what the patients do, and the only part I'm not involved is giving medicine, in which we would have qualified nurses doing it. Like what the ward manager says, basically, what I do is building rapport with them, ensure they've got someone to talk to when they want to, theirs needs are fulfilled, and when they get unstable or a bit aggressive, I'd be able to calm them down. Other than that, we're doing smoking sessions, activity & meal preparations, planning meetings, care plans, risk assessments, ground leaves, tea bar (there are more, but because it's still a new ward, after a month or so, when things are all settled down, i'd get the chance to learn and see more of it). And there are quite much of paperworks as well, doing notes on each shift of how each of them is getting on, and if you're assigned to be a security nurse on your shift, there are even more stuff, like checking where each patient is hourly, make sure the environment is not hazardous etc etc.

A lot to learn, a very very very fresh and interesting new environment to me. Hope I could make the most out of it.

( to be continue.. I guess )

Officially a Londoner

2010-06-19T22:30:00.000+01:00

I am now in Enfield, Middlesex. T__T
Extremely sore hands and back, carrying that huge luggage and heavy bags with me.
It was good I met some nice people helping me when I had to take the stairs. Very grateful, they were really nice, some were kids! I'm going to help others next time, I promise. =P

Feel so empty, don't feel like unpacking my stuff and doing the cleaning =(
Bpeng, puipui, fel.. T__T

It was even depressing thinking whether George has sent my reference back. Because of this stupid process I can't start working on Monday.. this thought itself depresses me.. I really don't want to sit and do nothing anymore.. Why can't they do things efficiently??????

Hmm anyway, my new room is nice, just that I certainly miss my old double bed =X. Need some cleaning and tidying.. Went to the tesco nearby, it was smaller than the one in Cheltenham, and I felt so lost inside.. the shelf assortment was strange =S.

Ah.. I'm going to stop writing or I'd find awful loads of stuff to complain >"<

Hope things would be in place soon!

I wonder if I miss you

2010-05-23T00:35:00.003+01:00

該怎麽定義想念

因爲習慣一個人的陪伴所以當他不在時

依然不斷出現在你的腦裏叫想念?

那如果是很久不見但交情(曾經)不錯的朋友呢?

怎麽說想念? 怎麽說很想念?

Say Goodbye =(

2010-05-17T23:22:00.000+01:00

Empty. I thought it shouldn't really affect me, but it still does. Perhaps it was pm's blog post, it seems that everyone either has left or is leaving. =( Nobody is going to be in Cheltenham, a place that I have been living for nearly 4 years, a place that I like the most in England.

I'm going to London tomorrow to meet my future landlord and settle the deposit, contract etc. Somehow I believe I'm going to cope well in new environment, even it's going to be all by my own, but I still feel the unease, maybe it's because that's going to be without bpeng? =(

All seem to be in a very unsettled state, many decisions to make, many things to do. I ain't like this feeling. Yet I'm grateful with what I've got, and hope everything is going well and I can start my new job soon.

Oh and I need to go to London on Thursday again, for the sake of the pre employment occupational health questionnaire. There are so many vaccines bla and bla, I don't even know what vaccines I've taken since young ._. (MMR & BCG for sure, what else?) I think they should actually provide us with a certificates that we must keep in records ourselves =S. Do you know BCG is a vaccine for what? TB! Do you know what TB is? Tuberculosis! Do you know what tuberculosis is? 肺结核. and there are so the hell many types of them, how do they expect me to know? somemore I guess we took some of the vaccines when we were infants?! = = Anyway, the officer said we can get a test if I'm not sure - so this should answer all my questions xD.

Hmm out of topic. I hope pm and Fel are feeling ok now. Both of them really seem "empty" and "lonely" having all their family members gone. It reminds me of last year when we're sending Sammi and Stephy, then Jeff and Kian etc off, we're always the ones sending people off ='(. Why are we still here huh?

Front of the Class (2008)

2010-05-05T23:28:00.000+01:00

A great great movie, based on a true story, Brad Cohen, who has got Tourette's syndrome (it's in the DSM, an inherited neuropsychiatric disorder), from the age of 6, stays optimistic, defies all odds and become a gifted teacher.

Very inspiring!! Highly recommended.

Lets make things clear and make life simple

2010-04-27T14:55:00.004+01:00

這次選擇把話講清楚

雖然一直以爲什麽反應都不給是最簡單的方式

到最後才發現其實是會有被感動的一天的

尤其對中文字的抗拒能力很低囧

不想被感動不期待那樣的一天

更不想他把時間花在我身上

Hachiko: A Dog's Story (2009)

2010-04-21T00:33:00.002+01:00

A true story of faith, loyalty and undying love

I actually can't believe that I could still tear that much despite the fact that I knew the storyline beforehand,

and I really miss our dogs now T__T

April the 16th

2010-04-16T22:50:00.000+01:00

It has been a long and kind of adventurous day for me, waking up at 2 o'clock in the morning, which is the time normally I still not in bed =S, and travelled all the way to London, then taking underground to Zone 4 Southgate station, and next changed bus W9 to Chase Farm Hospital. All of these I have been googling so it didnt trouble me much, the most challenging part, was that the hospital was GOD DAMN BIG!! it's more like an industrial area lol, with NO clear signs at all = = luckily it's always my habit to arrive early to place that I've never been, so I just took my time to walk around and look for this "Camlet 3" (you know, the Camlet 3 building itself, has no sign board saying Camlet 3 at all.. what the.....*censored*).

I arrived the lecture theatre at 9am (the invitation said 9.30am), and there were already about 10 people there!! There were like 60%-70% Blacks (in fact i found the whole Enfield (in North London) has got so many Blacks, unlike Cheltenham), and a mixture of the rest. The manager of the department has given an introduction regarding the trust, a forensic mental health trust (in which, their patients were mainly mentally ill people who were prisoners/offenders), so they talked about risk, security, relationships to patients etc bla and bla... It's what they do that really, really interest me, as I really like forensic psychology and clinical psychology, this is like the part that i really want to explore!! yet she mentioned about how competitive it is, there were nearly 400 applications!! god, four hundreds!! (F the recession!!) and I guess there were roughly 30 of us there today (it somehow made me feel - should I give up and let them have it? xD).

We sat for the tests after the presentation. The literacy test sucks a bit, as it's like a memory test to me.. I'm quite sure I'm well literate = =, yet the paragraph she read was so long, not allowing us to write anything down (but there was a lady writing, and this behaviour was distracting me >"<), by the time she finished, i forgot some of the front and most of the middle part HAHA (the primacy and recency effect). But I'm pretty sure they aren't that demanding (oh ya I saw the guy next to me reading my answer LOL). Whereas the numeracy test was MCQ.. easy la.. quite a bit of counting, a bit of understandings how they talk in maths language. They marked the papers immediately and we got to know whether we're through in about 40 minutes later.. and those were through stayed to let them take copies of documents bla bla bla..

Then I can't wait to leave the place (trust me, it doesnt feel like a hospital at all.. but I can't wait to go to central London xDD) so I failed to take any pictures of the hospital = =. My next stop was Hyde park! I don't know why I have been missing this place a lot, I feel like walking through the whole park again, but I did not when I arrived. Because the park itself was SO DEAD! I thought this is Spring, and there should be pretty flowers in beautiful scenes.. but all I saw was still winter =S, plus Usher's Papers playing in my headphone.. I was like.. /.\ So wondering around a bit and I took the tube back to Victoria station. Then walk from victoria to London eye (dont ask me why didnt i just take tube to westminster/waterloo station.. I just enjoy walking there..), sat by the river.. guess what I did? ... reading!! xDD I did shop a bit in Zara and Topshop.. and on the way back I saw House of Fraser actually having quite big sales.. But I was SO SLEEPY to try any clothes on = =. so I was like walking around like a corpse >"<, get sushi ordered by BeePeng then walked to coach station..

Hyde park corner.. Oh this is Spring?

I revisited some of the places..

All and all, London is the place filled with memories with family, whether it's few months ago when pama gor and jeh came, or 3 years ago when erge came.. And I feel if I were to "feel it", tears would fill my eyes. Anyway, I suppose I'm going for the interview next week.. would just try my best and I would accept whatever comes out =))

They have been there for really long already. I wonder whether this works. and I even wonder whether there is anyone in the camp of strike? =X

Can anyone tell me what this means? Genocide of theirs?

Tests

2010-04-15T22:23:00.002+01:00

I'm going to Enfield, Middlesex tomorrow for ability tests, in NHS!!
I can't believe I'm ganjiong >"<
I used to love exams and tests =S

I'm at the same time excited! coz I'll be going to London (again). On the other hand worry about whether I can get there on time safely, as most should know how bad I'm in directions! xD

Fingers crossed. =))

Titanic (1997)

2010-03-24T00:20:00.000Z

Believe it or not
I just finished the whole movie, for the FIRST time ='(

I intended to watch it 13 years ago when I was still standard 4, which I still remember clearly..
(coz we learnt to play my heart will go on with the simplified flute, a song that I can play and remember damnnnn well)

yet that time I fell asleep at the beginning of the movie and woke up seeing the ending part =="

And I had always wanted to watch it.. no chance.. till today, saw it in my laptop accidently =D

(think I took it from my sis when i went back?)

So I guess, I was the last person who never watched this movie? =)

dont think movie of this kind need any reviews or comments or reflections.. but people, do watch it over again..

黃小琥-沒那麼簡單

2010-03-12T10:15:00.005Z

作词:姚若龙作曲:萧煌奇

没那么简单
就能找到聊得来的伴
尤其是在看过了那么多的背叛
总是不安只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫

没那么简单
就能去爱别的全不看
变得实际也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单一久也习惯
不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话随便听一听
自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上关上了手机
舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那么容易
每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪
轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易
才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心
所以最开心曾经

想念最伤心
但却最动心的记忆

New blood!

2010-03-11T20:56:00.002Z

Just came back from blood donation session in Salem Church Hall.. I'm feeling great, no dizziness or unwell =D, and am going to share my experience of donating blood in the UK..

It was in a hall, which could also functions as a basketball court, when we arrived there were loads of people, young and old, female and male.. and the way people lying there without any expression actually made me feel A LITTLE BIT nervous.. =S (Originally I was really excited, another thing is Jocelyn, she was damnnnnn gan jiong ==). After seeing the nurse at the reception, I was given a folder with information regarding blood donation.. after waiting for 40 minutes or so, a lady called my name (without being able to pronounce my name, as usual, xD). Then she went through those details regarding my personal details, medical history, sexual life, travel history with me.. and here come the first "barrier"! She noticed that I just came back from Malaysia few weeks ago and told me that m'sia is one of the nations of Malaria contagiousness ._. I was like "HUH!!" (in my mind only) and she would consult another nurse to see whether I could donate.. So I waited impatiently.. another Black nurse came to me, asked if I was from "taman negara", "Sabah" & "Sarawak" ("HUH? is there anyone coming from taman negara? xD"), I simply said I was far from all those places.. So yes, I passed through the first barrier and was ready to go, MANA TAHUUUU... the lady sat me now.. said "not yet" ==!!

next I think I've got too long paragraph and it's time to start a new one. Next she let know some information and then wanted to get some blood from my finger to check my iron level.. and here come my second barrier of blood donation. Yes, I haven't got enough iron level. The blood was supposed to sink in the pretty ocean-blue liquid but it didn't!! ._. She gave me a second chance, but same thing happened, "you should eat more chocolate and meat!". I'm pretty sure she could feel how disappointed I was, and then only did she say, she could check with the machine by getting some blood from my arm.. and "who knows? the level could be 125 and you can donate then!" (the minimum to donate is 125). "OK! I would like to try pleasee". ANDDDD, this lady!! I supposed she only know how to do the questions stuff but not injecting (shouldn't be called injecting but I don't know the term =S), she put the needle into my right arm, and couldn't find the vein, instead of taking the needle out and try again like in m'sia, she KEPT THE NEEDLE under my skin and keep TURNING AROUND IN my arm........ then she gave up, holding the needle (which its head still in my arm, my whole arm was in a state of numbness ==") and asking for help from another nurse.. I am very sure my face written "PAINNNNNN, it really hurts", but my mouth keep saying "it's ok" when she apologized.. then come another nurse, which supposed to be more pro when she said "I can do it", thennnnnn.. she did the same thing.. turning the head of the needle under my skin.. then all 3 of us see a bruise coming out ==!!! and the previous lady took out the needle. I looked at the tube.. and it was empty, (my face turned green? blue? purple?) but the lady said, it could be enough.. and next she carried out some procedures bla bla bla.. put my blood into a machine.. and it showed "125" muahahaahhahaha.. so, FINALLY... i was allowed to give blood...

Next I made sure myself had enough water, as it was said that drinking enough water could make sure we are well after the donation (for most people la).. then waited to be called again. Nothing special after that, I accept the pain and the nurse was skilful and experienced enough I'd say.. or perhaps I have experienced the MOST painful version of it, so I could tahan.. (believe me I'm someone who really can resist pain but that friendly-but-not-skilful nurse was really doing it baddddly) She had totally no problem in seeking the vein and it just caused a bit pain =). I was doing great except my blood wasn't running quick enough and she kept asking me to relax.. xD So.. there goes my 475ml bloody blood.. I wish it's all fine and is going to help people in need =D

Now I have got very good reason to eat chocolate =D (not for sufficient iron level! but for the sake that I dont want to be injected by an inexperienced nurse!!!). Also have got 3 plasters on hands and one bruise =S. It would take about 6 weeks to "refill" all my donated blood, and 16 weeks till next time I am allowed to donate again. Oh ya, there was a guy whom Jocelyn spoke to, he has donated for 50 times!! and Joce said he looks at his late 30s only.. I want to go again.... =D

My friend told me that donating blood will make us gain weight.. is that true??

Blog Trailer

2010-03-08T20:57:00.003Z

I have got sooooo much to talk about. I know it's time for me to start blogging again. Can't believe it's now March and there were only 5 published posts this year =S.

But, I'm not in the mood today.. Give me some times.. Meanwhile I will hopefully still be sharing some stuff..

P.S. Don't ask me what this post is for. I have no idea either ._.

Imbalanced Human Sex Ratio & Gendercide

2010-03-08T08:20:00.001Z

重男輕女性別大屠殺‧全球1億女嬰消失

（英國‧倫敦）週一（3月8日）是“三八”國際婦女節，但在宣揚女權的這一天，全球已陷入一場殺女胎保男胎的“性別滅絕”（Gendercide）浩劫，其中以中國和印度最為嚴重。

儘管人類社會已邁入21世紀，但重男輕女的觀念仍在全球作祟。根據英國最新一期《經濟學人》雜誌報導，全球因此慘遭墮胎、殺害或疏於照顧因而夭折的女嬰，正以數百萬計的數字消失，稱之為“性別滅絕”，毫不為過！

重男輕女亞洲最嚴重

報導稱，重男輕女的現象在亞洲最為嚴重，因為當地傳統上認為繼承家業、奉養父母、傳宗接代、養家活口，都是男性的責任。

在亞洲部份偏遠地區，刻意殺害女嬰的現象仍然非常普遍，而現代的超音波掃瞄技術，更助長這類歪風，使一心只想添丁的準父母以墮胎手術打掉女胎。

近年小家庭當道，頭一胎是女嬰勉強可以留下來，第二胎還是女的就會打掉。

中國印度男女失衡

據統計，在中國和北印度，1980年代男女嬰出生比率100比108，但現在的男女嬰比例卻是120比100，中國部份農村地區更達到驚人的130比100，失衡情況十分嚴重，反映生男生女受人為影響。

除了中印兩國，包括台灣與新加坡在內的東亞國家、歐洲巴爾幹半島、高加索地區，甚至美國的華裔與日裔，同樣有男女嬰比例嚴重失衡的現象。

早在1990年，印度經濟學家塞恩便認為，因重男輕女觀念而消失的女嬰數量，高達1億人，而現在這一數字只會更高。

《經濟學人》警告，“性別滅絕”的現象遍及全球，且不分貧富與宗教，形同大規模屠殺，對社會的衝擊極為嚴重。

報導指出，性別失衡令許多男性成年後找不到配偶，衍生社會問題，並導致犯罪率飆升，包括販賣女性、性暴力、女性自殺等。

各國性別屠殺情況

中國恐成世界最大光棍國

《經濟學人》報導，目前中國男女嬰的出生比例為120比100，可能是現代人類歷史中最不平衡的例子，在15年內，中國兩性人口數將出現3000萬至4000萬的落差，估計全國有五分之一年輕男性，將因男女性別失衡而無法找到結婚對象。

這是個嚴重的問題，對中國發展的威脅比財務失衡、環境災難更危險，可能使中國成為世界最大的光棍國。

報導指出，中國男性過剩也可能形成永久的下層社會，遭到危險利用。

中國多達1億5000萬的民工，多為失業的未婚男性，而且其中大部份沒有受教育，找不到穩定工作，他們聚集在車站，開始形成幫派。

印度成“缺少女人的國家”

印度寶萊塢影片“Matrubhoomi”（缺少女人的國家），描述印度偏遠村落因為女性寥寥無幾，出現5個兄弟“共用”一個妻子的故事，驚悚情節，反映出印度“殺嬰”和“殺胎”的嚴重後果。

印度“倡議研究中心”稱，這部電影是一個“警訊”，印度重男輕女，殺女嬰也許只出現在少數地區，但婦女被迫“選擇性墮掉女胎”卻很泛濫。

預定週三在《刺胳針》網站上刊出一項研究指出，由於產前的超音波檢驗可驗出胎兒的性別，在過去20年間，印度可能墮掉了1000萬個女胎。

而且不只貧窮鄉下才有這種現象，一項為期10年的研究顯示，首都德里的墮胎問題也很嚴重，尤其是已有女孩的家庭“墮得更兇”。

台灣性別失衡第3胎更明顯

台灣還是重男輕女嗎？數據顯示，是的。國民健康局調查發現，民眾生第一二胎，男女比例還算正常；但生第3胎，男嬰比率立即比女嬰多了20%，第4胎甚至多達近40%，顯然有“人為操作”。

台灣少子化嚴重，政府擬鼓勵生第3胎，防止台灣社會過度高齡化。但調查發現，鼓勵生第三四胎反而可能另外衍生男女失衡的問題。

值得注意的是，大城市跟非都會區全榜上有名。前者不排除是因為醫療資源跟資訊較多，民眾較懂得利用醫療科技做性別篩選，後者則很可能是受傳宗接代觀念影響。

美國科技篩選性別引道德爭議

大部份國家禁止以基因篩選決定胎兒的做法，但美國有少數診所不理會道德爭議或造成兩性失衡的可能，以約1萬9000美元（約馬幣6萬3500令吉）的高價位提供這樣的服務。

3年前，斯坦伯格醫生率先在市場上推出篩選胎兒性別的服務，稱為“胚胎植入前基因診斷”（PGD），準確度高達99%。

科學家從試管受精卵發育成的多枚胚胎各取出一個細胞，從DNA判斷男女，然後再把所要的性別植入母體內。

有生物倫理學家批評，這種做法可能促使性別失衡的速度加快，甚至走向“專屬設計寶寶”或“複製人”，但斯坦伯格堅稱，這個技術遠比印度和中國丟棄女嬰的做法人道得多。

整體而言，他的顧客中，美國人和加拿大人喜歡女孩，印度人和華人喜歡男孩，拉丁美洲國家的喜好約是各有一半。

回家吧回到最初的美好

2010-01-13T12:22:00.005Z

I'm now at home!!!

have got a lot to write about my journey from Cheltenham-London-Abu Dhabi-KLIA-Klang.. will write about it after I have enough sleep..

These days just had about 5 hours sleep in total.. =/

and wow!!

there had been so much renovation in the house..

I like the changes! Especially the bathrooms downstairs and the one in my big bro's room..

a lot of things going on..

my to-do list is also kind of long.. and, I want to eat many food! but.. seems like I haven't got the selera.. >"<

glad to be at home.. =D

Pek Cek

2010-01-11T17:22:00.000Z

Bpeng and me are both in learning centre quiet study room now, not doing any study!

I don't why made me sooo pek cek..

the house internet is down 3-4 days ago, and I think the problem was on the router that it can't solve the ip address bla bla bla... tried restart and even reset and it still doesn't work

Got a friend who taught me how to go "inside" to check what is not working.. but I'm not pro enough to sort that out =/

then the landlord said Monday (i.e. today) her daughter's computer expert was coming to change a new router..

Yet very very very unfortunately, few days ago Bpeng lost her keys (we still don't understand how this happened) so she has kept all the spare keys in her room when her daughter and her friend came,

and they have to get into her daughter's room to get something to sort the internet out..

but bpeng wasn't at home... so we have to wait for another day.. (which I would have left)

I really really need the internet desperately..

to get bus ticket, to transfer money, to check terminal and weather, to contact my family, to find my referee (ex dissertation supervisor, i.e. Kerry Rees), to keep in touch with many people..

If it's any other time in the year it should be fine, as we can always come to the Uni,

but the weather truly, seriously sucks!! and the Uni was closed last week..

it's sooo difficult to go anywhere =(

grrrrrr...

Anyway, thats it for the grumbles.. and guess what,

I forgot to note this in my blog,

that I'm flying back to Malaysia tomorrow!!!!!

I haven't been home for more day 500 days already! The longest period in my life...

I miss home badly.. miss the feelings of staying at home badly..

miss a lots of food badly..

And this time I'm also going back for erge's (i.e. my second brother) wedding.. =DD

I'm quite excited! hahaha.. although I don't really know what to expect..

Next thing would be Chinese New Year celebration that I have missed for 3 years..

until my grandma has forgotten my angpao.. = =

Ohya.. and two days ago was my last day at Primark..

a place that I had been working for more that three years,

it's kind of a mixture of strange feelings.. but I'm glad that I've known a group of nice colleagues there, and the appreciations they've got to me..

It's actually hard .. to leave. =X

Anyway, in less than 24 hours I'm leaving this land already.. hope the weather is good enough during the departures.. I want to be home on time! *pray*

生命教育

2010-01-05T23:57:00.000Z

她用轉注的眼神，盯著小桌上的白紙，然後，用意志驅使一隻腳，在紙上寫了“黃昭芊 ooi zhao qian”幾個字。

黃昭芊小朋友的照片，讓我的淚水在眼眶裡打轉。

我看到的是生命的一份悸動，就在昭芊的身上。

是的，字體整齊漂亮，腳趾靈活……，但是，這些都不是重點。

驚人的是她小小的軀體，散發出強大的力量。

這一股力量，正在驅動她的生命，也會改變她的命運。

之前的一晚，我在夜市看到另外一幕。

也是一個小孩，肢體殘缺，衣衫襤褸，雙目無神，躺在路上，身旁一個罐子。

看不出是男孩或女孩，也看不出種族國籍，不……，我根本不忍心看他。

生命在他身上消失，命運在他身上下咒。

天啊！回想起來，昭芊和他，是天淵之別。

生命是莊重的，但是，也可能是卑微的；兩者的分別，在於我們如何對待之。

昭芊的媽媽李愛雲女士，沒有因為女兒身體構造的不同，而逃避或放棄，反而用更多的愛來灌溉，從2歲開始就訓練她以腳代手，克服障礙。

她的姨婆為她縫製特別的校服；舅舅給她製作了一個特別的小輪椅；學校為她安排方便的課室。

還有，那群小朋友，沒有芥蒂地和她一起遊戲。

對生命施以愛，生命就會成長，進而莊嚴。

對生命冷漠、排斥、摧殘，生命就會封閉、枯萎。

當大家愛昭芊，昭芊也會愛自己，她會感覺自己和別人一樣，一點也不差，更沒有絲毫的所謂“可憐”，甚至比很多人都更加健全。

這就是一種生命教育，懂得愛自己，珍惜自己的生命；不管命運降下時是如何，你就是要改變它，使它更加美好，光明。

18世紀，英國經濟學思想家邊沁（Jeremy Bentham）寫了一封信給朋友的女兒，其中一段說：

“盡你的能力去創造所有的幸福快樂，盡你的能力去解除發生在你身上的不幸；

“你每一天要儘可能對別人的幸福增加一點，或是讓別人的不幸減少一點；

“如果你在別人的心田增加一點快樂，你將發現，這份快樂是在自己的心田收割；

“如果你將別人心中的悲哀趕走，你將會發現，在你的靈魂的聖殿，洋溢安寧和喜悅。”

我們在昭芊小朋友的身上，學到許多；其中一項是尋找自我生命的意義。

星洲日報／馬荷加尼‧作者：鄭丁賢‧2010.01.05

今天不是想写什么"神等"人才写的话只是今天很巧在生活中朋友身上看到了什么是知足怎样才是个懂得为别人为自己想的人怎样才是个"好人" 然后又读到这篇就顺便分享一下 =D

Adoption of Puppies

2010-01-02T23:18:00.004Z

I received an email entitled "Adoption of Puppies" on 1st of January. Initially, I thought it was either advertisement or scam, as I couldn't recognize that email address (XXXX000j at something dot com, the XXXX was an English name). The message was as followed

Hello,
My Name is XXXX Jones, I and my husband are on a Christian
Mission to Africa and I came along with our Teacup Yorkshire Terrier
Babies and English Bulldog.After a While, I notice that the African
Weather isnot good forthe puppies.I need someone to adopt both and take
care ofthem.They are AKC REGISTERED: TEACUP. HOME RAISED, VACINES &
HEALTH GUARANTEED.

I was simply curious and wonder how she has got my email, so I replied and told her that I would like to look at the pictures of the puppies. Especially I just heard from a friend who met scam in KL yesterday, and really want to know whether this person is sincere or what she really wants from me. And I've got her reply today:

Hello,
I really appreciate your response.My husband and I are currently in the Republic of Benin Africa on missionary work we're visiting 5 countries!
Right now there are so many factor's and the weather in africa will is too hot for them and I don't want them to suffer in anyway. I have been praying to have someone who can take good care of them and give them all the love in the world. That's all they want.. We're due for more travel to some remote part of west africa and I cannot risk taking them along as I know it will have adverse effect on them, health wise.
I attached the pictures of my puppies,the little girl(Katty) is 1.9lbs and while the male(Rolly) is weigh 2lbs,both are 12 weeks old they should be to 3 to 4lb range full grown and (Lula) the bulldog is 13weeks old they are all potty trained and very friendly with children,Can you tell me alittle bit more about you? and let me know the hours when dog would be left alone?
please email me i am anxious in find my babies a new home.They're lovely puppies will come along with all necessary health paper work and Vet Record,Birth Certificate,Shot Book,Travel Crate,Toys And Foods.
Hope to read from you.
XXXX wood

The first time I read it, I felt she was really sincere, and when I looked at the pictures that she attached, I swear I really start thinking how I could help (obviously I won't be able to adopt them) and started feeling a bit guilty that I've given her hope by replying her first email! She showed that she really cares about the doggies, and wants to know more about me and hence to know the time those doggies would be left alone.

Did you spot anything suspicious yet?

My email was registered when I was in Malaysia, and I'm currently in the UK. She is in Africa, but where is she from? Does she know where I am at the moment? How is she going to "send" or "pass" me those doggies? I thought this should be an important issue but why is she not mentioning it at all? OK, she might be sending me, well, somehow, that's still possible, right? (I'm not sure, I heard people sending pets from UK to the China and it took few months and the pets would really had had enough to suffer)

Secondly, the initial email she told me she was xxxx Jones, but within a day (guess she divorced get married to Mr Wood?), she is now xxxx Wood.

The initial motive of this post, is to help searching owners for the puppies (although I'm aware the readers of my blog are either UK students who would rather spend their money on shopping or good food or people in Malaysia):

Lula

Katty and Roly.

Lovely, aren't they? I really don't want to google images (of puppies/bull dog/dogs) and find out they are actually pictures from world wide web. = =

What do you think?

The Memorables 2009

2009-12-31T23:00:00.003Z

In the year of 2009...

Final Semester of the Final Year of my BSc. - 5th Jan

This is definitely a semester that I made myself work harder, especially on dissertation. Although the whole degree, I hadn't really put my full effort (if it were to be compared with high school). And, three years seemed to be a bit short, and is it time flew?

Dissertation Completed - 21st April

It was the first time I did my assignment this way, that I ignored all the day/night time, I just worked, slept, ate.. If I was tired I just slept, and ate when I was hungry, other than that, I would be doing my dissertation all the time. The final draft were completed on 30th March and handed in on 21st April. (Well Done?)

Final Exam - 28th April - 7th May

The very final exam of my degree. Results came out in June and I've got a first class. =D

Viwawa

A gaming site that played very important part in my life this year. I don't know why as I got to know this site far earlier but I only become kind of addicted to it this year. (but it's well under control now =P) (Zany Bridge)

Attending KimFoong & William's wedding - 18th May

It was a special experience. And also a great trip with Sammi, Stephy and Bpeng. (Attending a wedding)

My 22th birthday - 17th June

I have been in the UK for 3 years yet this is the very first birthday celebration in the UK. Thanks to those great friends, specially to Bpeng! (The 22th birthday)

A special friend was also welcomed to my life few days before it..

First summer in the UK

Spending my summer time for the first time in the UK and seeing all the UK good old friends leaving one by one.

It is also a period of relaxing job hunting, got to some interviews but didn't get any job offer =(

Drug and Alcohol Service - volunteer - September- November

I went through two interviews successfully and became one of the volunteer under training for the Drug and Alcohol Service in the Independent Trust.

The course lasts for 10 weeks and it was really comprehensive and informative.

Post Study Working Permit - September

Sent the application out at beginning of September and got it back three weeks later, it has allowed me to stay in the UK for two years.

Family Visiting the UK - 7th Nov - 27th Nov

I was really excited upon their arrivals!

We visited London, Edinburgh, Bourton on the water, Avebury, Stonehenge in the UK, and Paris, Disneyland Paris, Venice, Pisa, Florence, Rome in Europe. It was my second visit to some of the places and it is really different to visit a same place with friends and family.

I think the trip was kind of long that it was quite tiring yet we had a very good time. It's good to see them here after so long not being at home, and good to show them around the places that I have been for three years.

Graduation- 19th Nov

The graduation ceremony itself doesn't worth much words but I was glad that family has been here for me and for it.

We also had a short gathering with those good old friends in the UK.

-For the past 22 years of my life, this is the only year that I'd never stepped on the land of Malaysia.-

Here comes to the very end of the year 2009, good bye to 2009 and..

Happy New Year 2010!!

Have a blessed and healthy year!!

World's Friendliest Countries

2009-12-27T23:50:00.003Z

The Expat Explorer Survery revealed that Malaysia is in the top 5 list of World's friendliest Countries.. What do you think??

The top ten

1. Bahrain

2. Canada

3. Australia

4. Thailand

5. Malaysia

6. South Africa

7. Hong Kong

8. Singapore

9. Spain

10. United States

Also, Malaysia has got

#1 in "Organizing school for my children" (it's probably due to the very different standards of school in Malaysia?)

#3 in "Organizing my finances"

#3 in "Organizing my health care"

#4 in "Making friends" (I like this =D)

#4 in "Finding somewhere to live" (not so sure about what it means.. = =)

#14 in "Making local friends" (oh.. prefer making international friends than the locals huh?)

#19 in "Joining community group" (thought we could be better?)

Further story from yahoo news

World's friendliest Countries

Comments about the news (worth reading if you've got some times, I was a bit shocked with what some people have said..)

Comments

p.s. My thought is at the comment section.. or my post will get too long =/

Some Psychology students might ask this?

Methodology
More than 3,100 expatriates were surveyed between February and April 2009.The respondents were asked to rate 23 factors related to their quality of life, including food, entertainment, transportation, health care, finances, education and their ability to make friends. Each criterion is equally weighted to arrive at a score. The overall ranking is based on the average score for a country across the criteria. Eight measures were also selected to comprise the integration score: organizing school for my children; organizing my finances; organizing my health care; finding somewhere to live; making friends; making local friends; setting up utilities; and joining local community groups. The integration score was used to determine the friendliest countries.

Zany Bridge

2009-12-14T00:15:00.001Z

In the year of 2007, Kian, Limpeh, Joyce, Michelle, Bpeng and me went to a 12 day Europe trip together. During that period, the 4 of them have been really into a game - Bridge. And they have taught us some basics of it. I need to say that I had not really mastered the game during that short period, and didn't understand why they were so into it.

Then during the final exam period of 2008, Peiman introduced us an online gaming site -Viwawa. I saw my previous blog that we were like playing mahjung etc nearly every night.. HAHA (exam period ma..). After that, I couldn't remember when, but I noticed the Zany Bridge in the list of games and started trying it myself. Then I started on off playing it and until this year become really addicted to it during assignments/dissertation peak period..

Actually I've always wanted to blog about this, especially in writing guide so that I could have real life friends to play with me... (I miss playing with real cards as well =/) As I would say, none of the games in vww is (that) addicting, its only zany, an intellectual game that I would say you could hardly master it, and that you would always find ways to improve yourself, and enjoy differently when you play with different "level" players. The thing is the game is kind of complicated, if we were to put everything in words (and it's not the one you could search on Wikipedia), yet I think viwawa forum can provide you some basics.

Why am I talking about all these suddenly? Coz I was clearing my laptop earlier and I found some screen shots.. I learnt this from another player rainb0w81, that she always print screen whenever some special or weird stuff, bugs take place.. And I found these which are what we would call "sure win" in min 4 games (minimum bid of 4) that we play. (I dont really know the purpose of printing these screens, so i guess the only thing I could do is to put it in my blog, although I clearly doubt how many readers can understand what those hands mean >"<)

This is what we call 2-suit (also could have bidded 5nt).

For me, it's a hand that's impossible to lose,

yet my partner (tas) has got the ability to make this sure win game.. lose = =

as that was just he and me who had hearts, and he kept throwing hearts, so the opponents kept trump and ended up wasted all my heart set.

This is also 2-suit. but rely less on the 2nd (non-trump) suit..

could hardly lose..

I wonder how awful the other's hands are.. xD

These 3 hands, are the sure-win hand for 5NT (including a set winning by partner)

O.O

10 Trumps!! (if playing got trumps la, but I bidded 5NT- i.e. No Trump), called Ace dia, which was rain, and we got all 13 sets.

There is a player who played more than 30k games, and he said he has got 10 trumps only for once!!

But so far I've got twice already.

p.s. these players (rainb0w81, csyuan, ariel_23) are awesome.. are also those that I spent most of my time to play with.. as I seldom play with random people anymore.. and another one is Sissywawa.

Obviously very crazy and imbalanced hand.. =D

me and Lilbarbie got 13 sets too..

So... can anyone understand what I'm talking about? xD

Anyway, all those hands that were shown are just the best part of loads game played (i.e. you would hardly see cards as good as those), and luck is just a very small part of zany bridge, especially when you play a lot, what matters is always skills.

And finally... let me know if you want to learn.. if I can't teach, I can probably find you a good tutor.. =D

A letter by a Malaysian in the USA

2009-12-09T10:44:00.002Z

I am a female Chinese Malaysian, living in the Washington DC area in the United States . I have read many of the letters that often talk about foreign countries when the writers have no real knowledge of actually living in those countries.

Many draw conclusions about what those countries are like after hearing it from someone else or by reading and hearing about them in the media or after four years in a college town in those countries.

I finished STPM with outstanding results from the prestigious St George's Girls School in Penang . Did I get a university place from the Malaysian government? Nothing. With near perfect scores, I had nothing, while my Malay friends were getting offers to go overseas.

Even those with 2As got into university. I was so depressed. I was my parent's last hope for getting the family out of poverty and at 18, I thought I had failed my parents.

Today, I understand it was the Malaysian Government that had failed me and my family because of its iscriminatory policies.

Fortunately, I did not give up and immediately did research at the Malaysian American Commission on Education Exchange (MACEE) to find a university in the US that would accept me and provide all the finances. My family and
friends thought I was crazy, being the youngest of nine children of a very poor carpenter. Anything that required a fee was out of our reach.

Based on merit and my extracurricular activities of community service in secondary school, I received full tuition scholarship, work study, and grants to cover the four years at a highly competitive US university.

Often, I took 21 credits each semester, 15 credits each term while working 20 hours each week and maintaining a 3.5 CGPA. A couple of semesters, I also received division scholarships and worked as a TA (teaching assistant) on top of everything else.

For the work study, I worked as a custodian (yes, cleaning toilets), carpet layer, computer lab assistant, grounds keeping, librarian, painter, tour guide, etc. If you understand the US credit system, you will understand this is a heavy load.

Why did I do it? This is because I learnt as a young child from my parents that hard work is an opportunity, to give my best in everything, and to take pride in the work I do. I walked away with a double major and a minor with honours but most of all a great lesson in humility and a great respect for those who are forced to labour in so-called `blue collar' positions.

Those of you who think you know all about Australia , US, or the West, think again. Unless you have really lived in these countries, i.e. paid a mortgage, paid taxes, taken part in elections, you do not understand the level of commitment and hard work it takes to be successful in these countries, not just for immigrants but for people who have lived here for generations.

These people are where they are today because of hard work. (Of course, I am not saying everyone in the US is hardworking.. There is always the lazy lot which lives off of someone else's hard work. Fortunately, they are the
minority..)

Every single person, anywhere, should have the opportunity to succeed if they want to put in the effort and be accountable for their own actions. In the end, they should be able to reap what they sow.

It is bearable that opportunities are limited depending on how well-off financially one's family is but when higher education opportunities are race-based, like it is in Malaysia ; it is downright cruel for those who see education as the only way out of poverty.

If you want to say discrimination is here in the US , yes, of course it is. Can you name a country where it doesn't happen? But let me tell you one thing - if you go looking for it, you will find it. But in Malaysia , you don't have to go look for it because it seeks you out, slaps you in your face every which way you turn, and is sanctioned by law!

Here in the US , my children have the same opportunity to go to school and learn just like their black, white, and immigrant friends. At school, they eat the same food, play the same games, are taught the same classes and when they are 18, they will still have the same opportunities. would I want to bring my children back to Malaysia ? So they can suffer the state-sanctioned discrimination as the non-malays have for over 50 years?

The injustice the non-Malay have to suffer in frightening silence is the most damaging problem one has to face throughout one's life. You just have to look at the mighty govt structures which completely favours only one race, the Umno Malay. The Chinese and Indians are treated no better than the illegal Indonesians. Racism and corruption are openly practised by the Malay politicians everywhere, Courts, schools/Uni, police, govt offices, contracts, GLC, NEP, ISA, local govt.

It's so powerful and intimidating that you walk with fear and keep your mouth shut on anything and everything political. Religion is taboo unless you talk good about Islam. As for being a slave in the foreign country, I am a happy 'slave' earning a good income as an IT project manager.

I work five days a week; can talk bad about the president when I want to; argue about politics, race and religion openly; gather with more than 50 friends and family when I want (no permit needed) and I don't worry about the police pulling me over because they say I ran the light when I didn't.

Have we seen the light at the end of the tunnel yet (Anwar Ibrahim)? Or is it the head light of an oncoming Umno train ? Lets hope its the former for the sake of all fair minded Malaysians.

The dream of a Malaysian 'race' in the future is nowhere in sight with the present BN govt. Where is Negara-Ku???

Paris Disneyland

2009-12-03T22:15:00.000Z

Some random pictures...

Disneyland Paris.. my 2nd visit!

Errrr.. who is this la?

(I took with quite many who-is-this-la..)

Muahahahaha...!

We were too excited that we didn't realize that's not Donald xD

until then we saw ...

Can you believe this!!

Both of them took picture with me.. together!!

Remember last time in Hong Kong Disneyland, I queued so long and could only take pic with Daisy..

Hahaha.. I like this!!

Gogo and ahjeh refused to take picture with it because..

They don't even know who that is..

and they kept laughing when I told them "Ratatouile" (as if I made it up)!

Spot pama in there..

I actually laughed out loud when I saw this..

It seems that they have had enough traffic jam in m'sia!

Why came to Disneyland also got traffic jam la? hahahaa..

I think if I have got time I'm going to gather all my pics with the disney characters..

coz last time when I came to Paris one, I took with quite a lot not so well known characters also..

and it seems that no matter how many times I went, I could still be very hyper when I was there.. hahaha

Empty

2009-11-27T18:00:00.002Z

I'm back in Cheltenham

back from all the trips.. pama and jeh are on their way back already..

feel a bit empty,

this room used to be crowded by all of us and now it seems a bit too big >"<

(imagine 4 persons on a double bed room.. and 1 on floor. hahaha)

but I'm sure I will be back soon in January..

and I have loads of stuff that they brought me. =D

Hope they all will have good rest back home.

Will try to share my time with them these weeks.. (=

Later going to steamboat at 22hungerford..

Tomorrow have to back to work.. =S

A little too much

2009-11-20T00:00:00.004Z

Came back from Paris on late night of Tuesday the 17th

then went to Stonehenge on the 18th

Had my Graduation Ceremony today the 19th

then met the good old Malaysian friends for a little while at night..

tomorrow the 20th morning leaving for London

21st early morning going to Venice..

Feel a bit complicated now..

tomorrow family will be leaving Cheltenham and not coming back to my little room anymore

yet I still have one more week in London and Italy with them..

Time flewwww... it reminded me the time when I still countdown the day of their arrival.

Hope everything will go well in London and Italy and we will have great time there =D

P.S. Had a great trip in Paris. UK has the worst weather, so.. ESCAPE!! hopefully I'd have time to blog about all the trips and my graduation ceremony!

P.S. 2 Congratulations to all the Graduates!! Well done! =P

Regards to all the uncles aunties and hope they all enjoy their time here.

Edinburgh Trip

2009-11-12T22:30:00.000Z

Venue: Edinburgh, Scotland

Date: 9th-11th November 2009

Travellers: Papa, Mama, Ahjeh, me

Accommodation: Ramada Mount Royal Hotel (Bed & Breakfast)

Cost: £160 per person (Return journey rail from Cheltenham and 2 nights Bed and Breakfast)

This is really a nice place. Very beautiful and all the buildings would always draw in a Wow effect.

The train station we arrived at.
Waverley Bridge- the old buildings are in the Old Town.

Beautiful, aren't they? (the buildings, not the people xD)

St Giles Catheral

Old town.
The Old town.

View of the new town from the old town.

View in the Old town.

Good scene being shot in the Princes Street Garden. hahaha.

Most of the main tourist attractions like Edinburgh Castle, Camera Obscura- World of Illusion, Scotch Whisky Experience are all in walking distance. Although friends telling me this is a place that suits family trip, I'd say that that's too much walking for papa and mama. I can see that papa quite like this place, stunned by the beautiful old buildings, given that they've travelled so many places.

The Camera Obscura - World of Illusions. I found it quite interesting and feel worth visiting.

The cartoon version of me. There was also a baby version of me but ahjeh said it's too scary so I have decided not to scare my readers.. haha.

The heat detector.

HAHA.. mama looks so cute. xD

There were 8 of us. HAHA... not very clear though.

It's also very lucky to get a hotel at Princes Street, which is one of the very main street here. It makes going anywhere and searching good restaurants much easier (food was basically more or less the same as in England, but prices were lower I'd say).

The Scott Monument. As you can see, the Princes Street was under construction. But it didnt really bring any inconvenience to us..

The place we had our breakfast in Ramada.

Continental Breakfast.. this sort of things la..

In the Filling Station, a restaurant bar that serves nice food with reasonable prices.

During our last day we also found that the day trip bus ticket was just £3, unlimited uses for whole day, which is quite convenient for lazy people who like to sightseeing in and around the city.

Where to get your bus ticket? £1.10 for a journey or £3 for a day ticket?

We took bus 22 to the Britannia. This is the Royal Yacht Britannia Visitor Book. Not really worth the money visiting this I'd say.

Papa looks damn yeng, in the Britannia.

Love this trip although the scene itself is not the best but it's the first Europe trip for me with my family, also my only trip with family in recent years. The place, I'd say the historic buildings are sooo beautiful that you would think they were fakeee.. =D

P.S. There were too many photos, just roughly picked some out when I still have some time and memory about it. Feel free to ask me for further information =P. This saturday gogo will arrive and the 5 of us will be off to Paris for 4 days! =D

6.5 hours

2009-11-07T00:18:00.004Z

They will be stepping on this land as I'm in just 6.5 hours..

They were in Abu Dhabi earlier and ahjeh was online.. =D

I'm thinking whether I should sleep.. because if I go to bed I don't know what time I should wake up.. hahaha...

Plus, I'm now watching Heroes Season 3.. arghhh so addictive..

I'm excited =D

*I did my base visit in Eastgate street today, and watched 6-7 clients coming for needle exchange, I've got so much thought!! It confused, surprised me and widen my knowledge. But from what we learnt from Confidentiality and Professional Boundaries I wonder whether I should blog about the clients.. (will write more about my thought if I've got the chance and time.. oppps, I dont think I do =P)

The day after tomorrow

2009-11-05T00:24:00.002Z

Tomorrow I can finally say

"I'm going to see them tomorrow!!"

That day when I was booking coach tickets etc

I was already feeling down when I was checking the timetable for the coach from London to Heathrow airport at their final day here...

I'm already feeling sad merely imagining the arrival of the 27th

Anywayyyy... will definitely enjoyyyy the time..

Fingers crossed that everything will be good! (=

Update regarding my previous post - I've made up my mind not going to the job interview as I called them and the only option she gave me was either the 10th or the 11th, after checking the location etc, I think it's not quite possible for me to make it..

I'm sorry that I didn't choose to trust you...

but I was just worried..

Working opportunity??

2009-11-03T02:00:00.001Z

Just now back home from Woo's house and realized that I've got an email from NHS, inviting me for a job interview on the 11th Nov.

I cant even remember when I applied for it, as I've already given up to look for job properly for quite some times.. especially I realized that I'd have to take such a long leave off work when my family is coming.. and it was such a HEARTACHE to be accepted to a job and then rejected it... simply because they said I can't have such long leave off work as I would have just started working by that time... (to be honest my tear nearly drop on spot >"< ) But soon I understand the thing we call "取舍", and for me family comes first.. and I was happy that I could join them in all the trips.. (and even happier when I know jeh was happy that I could join)

But what now? the 11th Nov, it's a few days after my family's arrival, and we have already booked holidays to Edinburgh... I just want to say................. KNS....

I wonder how many things it wants me to give up, to have 3 weeks "peacefully" with my family here in the europe la.. I would skip 2 days from my drug and alcohol service training course, 3 weekends off from Primark, and a job offer from Lloyds pharmacy.. and now.. aiyo... MUST YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS???

Anyway, I'd see what I can do..

ANDDD!! tomorrow will be my last day working in Primark until the 28th!!!

thanks Leslie for approving our holiday requests!!!! she is the best manager! =D

(we actually got rejected by the Store Manager and then get approved by the Assistant manager hahaha... she's so daring la xD)

I still have 2 base visits (part of my training course) to do,

and there are 16 items in my to do list in preparation for my family visiting..

omgggg all I have is 3 days!! (but I'm loving this..)

p.s. I've got so many to say, but now all I need, is SLEEP!!

In 4 days

2009-11-03T01:35:00.002Z

I just want to say

THIS FEELING IS SO STRANGE!!

that my papa mama ahjeh and gogo are coming to the UK

to travel and to attend my graduation ceremony

No doubt I'm really looking forward to it..

as I havent gone home for more than 1 year already.. (it's a new record =D)

I've started count down since 29 days ago

but it's strange

imagining the place that I've been on my own for 3+ years

and they are "appearing" here!!! here with me!!!

(would be perfect if erge will be here too, but i accept imperfection (= )

I hardly remember my dream

but I dreamt about it already

I'm really looking forward to it.. and I'm really, kind of.. nervous

in which.. I dont know why!!!

We are going to do a lot of travelling..

to some nice and famous places near to Cheltenham

and also London, Edinburgh, Paris, Rome, Venice and Florence..

Oh people I'm going to be busy, but I hope we'd all get to meet up especially those that are coming back purposely for the graduation ceremony... (but I understand that everyone would have their family to "take care" of)

Hope everything would be alright.

and everyone gets to enjoy to the fulllllesttttt!!

I'm also praying hard for Peiman and Bpeng will get back their passports asap too (=

全球十大旅行禁忌

2009-10-01T09:54:00.003+01:00

大多數去國外旅遊的人總是會對當地的風俗有所顧忌，擔心自己會出錯，引起誤會，下面蒐集的是常見的旅行禁忌，以方便你更好地出行。

1.筷子
關於筷子有很多說法。在日本，不管任何原因，都不能把筷子插入飯碗裡離開，因為這是不祥的徵兆。因為飯碗裡直立的筷子會讓日本人想起墓碑。而且，如果你用入口那端的筷子去夾菜也是一種不禮貌的行為，應該用另一端去夾菜。在中國和很多其他的國家，用筷子指別人也是不禮貌的。

2.參觀清真寺
所有人，不管是穆斯林還是非穆斯林，在踏入清真寺前都要脫鞋。遊客也應該遵循穆斯林的穿衣風格：男士應該穿長褲和長袖襯衫；女士應該遮住所有裸露在外的皮膚，雖然各國對此的嚴格性會有所不同。女士必須圍頭巾，如果你沒有，在很多大的清真市入口處你可以借一條。

3.送花
在烏克蘭，如果你打算送花，一定要確保花束是奇數，因為偶數的花束是送在葬禮上的。如果你要給女主人送花，或為慶祝生日或其他特殊節日，不要送黃花或復活節百合，因為這些花也只是為葬禮準備的。

4.接吻
在英國的柴郡，火車乘客不允許在站台逗留、親昵話別，也不允許接吻。如果你真的有很多離別的話要說或想要接吻，你可以去接吻區域。

5.鹽
雖然埃及人非常好客，但是他們的烹飪卻有些溫柔的自我。在埃及旅行的時候，不要在你的碗里加鹽，因為這被看作是對廚師的侮辱。幸運的是，由於埃及人烹飪時經常使用大蒜、洋蔥和其他芳香劑，埃及的食物還是很可口的。

6.參觀教堂
如果你打算在溫暖的氣候去意大利的教堂，出發的時候不要僅僅帶短褲和無袖上衣。去意大利教堂天主教大教堂的遊客穿著必須謹慎，無論是男士還是女士，都不允許穿短褲和無袖上衣。在教堂門口會有警衛或教民檢查，所以在出發的時候記得帶上一件長袖衫或其他套頭衫。

7.代表成功的V手勢
在大不列顛做“V”手勢的時候掌心不要向內，因為這被認為是挑釁或侮辱。據說，2個手指的致意是起源於英法百年戰爭。法國揚言要砍掉所有英國人射箭的手指頭，結果最後英國大勝，因此擺出手指來炫耀自己是完好無損的。

8.侮辱國王
泰國人將其80歲的國王普密蓬‧阿杜德（Bhumibol Adulyadej）視為神靈，將其畫像作為護身符希望給自己帶來好運。因此對他的侮辱會被認為是犯罪，會被判處15年的監禁。

9.碰杯
匈牙利人敬酒的時候不會碰杯，因為奧地利人曾經在殺害13個匈牙利烈士後用碰杯而慶祝。之後的150年之內，沒有任何一個匈牙利人在敬酒的時候碰杯。現在雖然過去很長時間了，但是這個傳統還一直保留。對於遊人來說，記住這個傳統比記住匈牙利語的乾杯容易多了。

10.吃光碟子內的所有食物
在柬埔寨，如果你吃光碟子內所有的食物，這表明主人沒有招待好你，因為你沒有吃飽還想要。

Source was SinChew paper, not sure how true they are but I think they could be very useful. E.g. the 6th, I think when we were in Italy we didnt come across this problem, but I was requested to get a scarf when I wore sleeveless top and visited a church in Vatican City..

Thalassemia

2009-08-10T00:16:00.006+01:00

星洲日报: 地中海贫血症患者增43%

(吉隆坡）首相夫人拿汀斯里羅斯瑪指出，大馬的地中海貧血症患者從2004年的2500人，增至目前的4385人，增長率近43%。

她說，若再不提高民眾對地中海貧血症方面的醒覺，尤其雙方都是地中海貧血症帶因者的夫婦，相信這疾病的新病患將不斷增加。

每个人都有責任控制這病

她今日（週日，8月9日）為一項地中海貧血症醒覺運動主持推介禮致詞時指出，地中海貧血症是一種遺傳性疾病，每個人都有責任控制此疾病，確保它不會“代代相傳”。

“目前大馬每100萬人口當中，就有近60萬人是帶有地中海貧血症基因者，為了避免這疾病一代傳一代，最有效的預防方式是鼓勵大眾進行檢驗。”

她欣慰衛生部撥出295萬令吉，免费為地中海貧血症患者提供醫藥治療及展開醒覺運動。

她吁請雇主勿對地中海貧血症患者持有偏見而拒絕雇用他們，甚至把他們邊緣化。

朱基菲里：300診所免費檢驗

馬來西亞地中海貧血症協會主席拿督朱基菲里則披露，估計目前每20名大馬人當中，就有1人是地中海貧血症帶因者。

“如果1名帶地中海貧血症基因者和1名非帶基因者結合，生下的孩子可能完全健康，也可能是輕型患者。不過，倘若雙方都是帶因者，生下孩子則極大可能是重型患者。”

他表示，衛生部在全國300家診所提供免費檢驗，公眾可瀏覽衛生部網站查詢診所的地點。

他强調，倘若患者接受醫生安排的治療及定時吃藥，患者和普通人一樣可過正常生活。

地中海貧血症是一種遺傳性貧血病，由於患者製造血紅蛋白的功能出現問題，以致無法生產紅血球，形成貧血。由於常見於地中海國家、中東、亞洲地區，因此又稱為海洋性貧血（Thalassemia）。

人體紅血球的主要功能，是把養份運送到全身的組織，血紅蛋白則是紅血球內的重要元素。骨髓是製造紅血球的器官，在長期貧血的刺激下，地中海貧血症病人的骨髓特別活躍，但卻不能有效生產及放出紅血球，於是含有不正常血紅蛋白的紅血球在人體內加速分解，由於沒有足夠的紅血球和血紅蛋白，全身的組織就因沒有足夠的養份而不能正常操作，構成貧血現象。

Twitter

2009-07-12T22:44:00.000+01:00

Haven't been updating my blog for nearly 3 weeks (is this the longest gap?) but I had been thinking to get this twitter thingy to my blog.. and guess what,
I'm going to update it as often as I could.. (and probably it will cause less and less posts on my blog = =)
But it's still beta version for my blog, I might remove it if it doesnt work well in updating others about me..

Got the code from Bloganol through EngLee's blog.. =D

BTW, I found that the passion on blogging of myself, and people around me is disappearing gradually.. Why?

The Recent Me

2009-06-24T22:50:00.001+01:00

I wonder whether any reader noticed.. that I'd never updated my recent life and future plan in my blog after final exam.. This is probably one of the most anaswered questions at this stage of my life.. Yet I never felt like writing about it. The reason is rather simple, because I have no idea about my life, my further study or career life.. I'm like lost..

I just checked the student record online today.. and Yes, I've got a first class degree.. It seems to be a bit late to tell as most who care knew it already lol. For my past study life, I'd never ask other's results.. never tell anyone unless I was asked.. as I don't like the way people look at me, as if I was showing off.. But, like what I told PeiMan that day when result came out, I want to share my happiness, I hope my friends (and family) feel happy for me.. OK, so what's this first class for/about? Before even I came to UK and started my degree, Ms Tan (Sook Bee, from E-West) told us that getting a first can let you to go for PhD directly.. So I could see the "value" of getting a first, rather than just... hmmm "oh first? that was really good!" (Dav's reaction when he asked me today.. lol). I thought this was true.. but it's just half true. I emailed a uni staff that deals with those postgrad study, he said that actually a first can let me go for MPhil, which there is possibility to upgrade to PhD.. Hey! this is very different right?

Actually, I don't really care, although I could see the value, but as I said, I love studying, I don't mind spending more time more effort and go for usual route.. But somehow.. this is still.. @#$%^&* la.. right??? (Although I'm aware that my house now got 4 bachelors 1 mba, if there were to be someone who get phd, that's probably me? HAHAHA =P)

So I'm still rather confused.. I think I mentioned before, that I feel like working, I want to work! I need more more more experience, rather than just research theory research theory (I do love research).. and ah well, I feel it's time to stop studying temporarily.. and learn to live a different life.. So ideally, my plan is to work for a couple of years, then study further.. yes, ideally. Else, I should be working and pursuing my master or whatever at the same time... hmm.. I dont know. The thing is also, I haven't even got a job, a proper one I mean (I must leave primark asap, except Ben, most of my best colleague friends left =( ). And I feel guilty as I found some friends actually seek for job when I was still slacking and enjoying life after exam.. = =.

Apart from these issues, our student visa expires at the end of Oct. So if I'm going to stay here, I should be applying Tier-1 around July/August.. (will probably going to live without passport for 4-8 weeks = =). So it's also important to decide whether to study or to work, since the tier-1 is just once for each life.. Then, the place of studying/working is also very important... because our house rental contract actually ends on 10th July = = (2 weeks later), although I did tell the landlord that I might be staying till August... etc etc.. there are so many things.. to be considered..

I can't get motivated, to plan for my future.. rather ridiculous, isn't it? So.. hmm.. I don't know how to end this post now, but if it happpens that you do read current long and wordy post, let me know your opinions ok? Perhaps it's not a decision, perhaps at this situation, it's not my decision that matters, but "que sera sera" (whatever will be, will be)...? I mean.. perhaps not even myself can decide what I want to do.. (although I can try)?

If I were a boy

2009-06-23T09:33:00.000+01:00

I cant remember when and from where was the first time I heard this song..
but when I heard it again today, I can sing most part of the lyrics with no problem.. = =
maybe somebody share in their blogs or something...?

What do you think about the song?
the lyrics is just so so.. yet kind of interesting..
the thing is, when you get to be a girl first before being a guy, you could probably learn to love a girl much better than you're a guy "from the initial till the end", is this right?
But like what the guy sang,

But you are not a boy,
so you can't understand
You are not a perfect woman
and I am not a perfect man

Things wouldn't be that perfect. So you wouldn't get the opportunity to TRY to be girl/guy first before being another..
So.. hmmm.. right, there's no perfect woman and man..
Perhaps there are loads stuff that men can do while women cant (are there?? I doubt..?!) and vice versa.. But if I get to choose again.. I would still be a girl.. HAHAHA.. why? no idea.. being a girl is simply good! =P

Presents

2009-06-22T11:40:00.000+01:00

My 22nd birthday presents..

The birthday card.. See the plaster? It's also part of the present.. LOL
coz they said I fall down often (during other's birthday.., while in fact it was just K's birthday, wasn't it?)

Thank you guys. ((=
and sorry I lost the wrap that you guys spent time drawing = =
I like that too..

HAHAHA.. I love this. But I don't know when I'm going to wear it. =P
From Joce, Ruby, K, WaiLeng, Marv, Shinyee, PehLing, YangWoo.. (am not too sure how the list goes..)

I received this from Sammi & Stephy more than a month ago.
Lovely, thank you (=
they said they wanted to make me more girlly... =D
it looks like a little bomb..

My new watch!!! in white!
why is it soooo nice? I chose one ma..=P
from Bpeng, PeiMan & Felicia.. thank youuu!!

Hmmm.. the rest.. remains secret.. XD
I think I've got so much more than I deserve in the beginning of my 22..
(opppss.. hmm.. 22, sounds so old..=S)

The 22th Birthday

2009-06-18T20:22:00.002+01:00

Skype with family

Mum, sis and bro skype me at 11+pm.. Hehehe.. can't believe nowadays mama also sleeps so late edy... although I get quite annoyed because they actually discussing what cake they want to buy to celebrate MY birthday WITHOUT ME... but still feel happy la.. think this is 2nd birthday i'm not celebrating at home? Also, now only I know that my chiense birthday passed already! (on Sunday the 14th >"<)

Egg Dinner with Housemates

Thanks to my sweeeeetest housemates (Bpeng, PuiMan & Felicia) for the dinner. Although obviously it can't be compared to those I had during my past birthdays at home, but it's still sweeet and nice. Why is it called the Egg dinner..? Because.. errrr.. I kind of love eggs, and thus for the dinner, 4 persons had 12 eggs! LOL

MidNight birthday 'surprise'

Frankly speaking I wasn't expecting it, I thought there are now so few of us here in the uk, I thought even if there was a midnight surprise I should deserve a slightly warmer and nicer one.. Until when we were having dinner, Fel mentioned "Ohh.. then we can use it tonight hor.." That reminded me all those lovely birthday attacks. Then at around 11pm, when i was enjoying movie in my room, somebody sticked a note on my wall

You know, this is soooo "helpless", you know what you're going for, you know what's waiting for you out there.. and you can't pretend like you're tired have to sleep yet you MUST go (?)! Fel wanted to blindfold me.. and for sure rejected by me.. then when we were walking a lil bit further in my house garden.. I saw group of them edy.. Haihhhh.. Haihhhh... then i turned from a clean and ready-to-sleep look, to... @#$%^&* with flour powder water cream.. Next was a birthday song, a wish that I can't remember what I've made, blowing candle.. THEN, I've got more cream as they said I still looking too clean.. zzzzz...

(photo taken from Jocelyn's blog)

and you know, actually I was not even interested in attacking back (since having so much previous experience, I'm not liking having bath at 12-1am.. so I wouldn't want to do that to them).. But YERRR.. they all.. so evil.. =SS Yet funny la, especially Shinyee and Jocelyn.. omg, I still can't help laughing the way Jocelyn ran and.. lolll. Ok, this sweet surprise thing spoilt 2 things - my flipflop, and my LG phone (again! *later found it seems to be working again).................

Different time zone wishes

Like celebrating the new year 2009, I'd also got my birthday celebrated in different time zones.. from friends in Aus, M'sia for sure, then Russia, Poland, UK and finally US.. ahahhaa.. kind of interesting.. ((=

Anyway thanks to everyone, I mean, everyone, and extra credits to Bee Peng (forgot this on my speech). Thanks for the effort and time, the party and food, the cream and flour, the presents (!!!), the calls from farrr away, the sms, messages on facebook and msn etc etc.. THANK YOU! I've made my wish for you.. heee..

[to be continue... maybe]

P.S. This is also the 100th post of my blog.

Summer

2009-05-31T23:59:00.000+01:00

Think this is the first time in my life that I'm going to experience the all four seasons..
as I was in m'sia for the previous summers..
these days, I really learnt how summer is like.. and to be frank, I'm not liking it..
being here for years, I actually enjoy sunny days very much, not like in the past, I used to love rainny days in m'sia..
Few days ago, I even felt excited that it was going to be sunny and hot
But.. it's sooooo hot these days, OK, I guess it's actually not warmer than m'sia (yet?), but I cant stand it!
because in m'sia, there are air cons anywhere, and I don't spend hours walking myself to anywhere..
but here.. I have no cars.. I'm always under the sun, we're not even having a fan =S
plus.. the day time is kind of loooonnnnggg... the sun rises before 5am, and set at about 10+pm..
one more thing I dislike about summer, is all those insects.. arrrgggggh..
now there is a moth in my room.. they get so active.. even walking on the street there are places that you can't/shouldn't actually open your mouth or else you're going to have them as snacks =(
Oh yeah.. also quote Alice's "It's summer and I'm still fat".. ahaha.. same thing applies to me

Hmmm.. it seems that I dont really like summer huh? Not really..
if compared to rainny and windy days, sunny's still better I suppose..
when it's windy and the temperature is not too high (28+ celcius?) I still enjoy the sun very much..
I can't decide yet which season I like the most.. I used to love autumn (before I even experienced autumn), because I like those leaves turn red.. now errr.. I'm not sure

What do you think?

='(

2009-05-28T02:31:00.001+01:00

Can't believe they both are leaving us tomorrow..
or ehmm.. 12 hours later =(
Really feel quite ... ... Hope I won't be tearing la..

Sammi de de

Stephy de de

Guess what we're doing..?

Hehehe.. I'll remember the smell

All the best and have a safe trip..

I wish we could have become so close during the first year we knew each other
I wish I could judge people better so that I know these girls are such great friends that shouldn't be missed
I wish they would be staying here with us...

I miss you even before you guys leave *sigh*

Fun Fair @ Cheltenham

2009-05-25T00:01:00.001+01:00

I'm really tired, but glad that I went to the fun fair today (with Sammi, Stephy, Peiman, Felicia, Jocelyn, Marvin and Allyson)!
It's not as bad as the one we went last month, this could be considered as massive I guess..
And the funniest thing is Felicia, Jocelyn, Allyson and I actually tried a crazy spinning ride..
trust me, it's the craziest I'd experienced so far, for a person who craze for exciting advanced games like me, it still is!! (will probably upload an video, to provide a rough idea: basically all stand in a round platform and it spins and turns in every possible dimensions)
I was so glad that there's someone that could play with me.. thank you thank you!

Frankly speaking, it hurts. The safety notice there says people who have back problems shouldn't try it.. ahahaha.. but I ignored it despite having seen it.
And! Just now when I changed clothes, I found both of my shoulders "crawling" with red lines.. (ask bpeng or peiman, I showed them)
dont know how I made them actually.. >"<

Anyway, it's finally a FUN fair. The firework wasn't bad too.. worth that pound la..
just that, after working 2 whole days, and walked myself there.. my legs aren't mine anymore =S
what more, I'm working tomorrow...

Found!!

2009-05-24T23:11:00.000+01:00

Saw this when I was on my way to work yesterday morning..

Really really glad to see this..
May god bless Kian and his family
Hmmm.. a single case may seem a bit insignificant to most people, but if whoever able to help do so, it will definitely make a significant difference

More details:

BBC:
Donor found for rare disease boy

Previous posts:
Bone Marrow Donating Session
Donating Bone Marrow

Attending a wedding

2009-05-20T18:58:00.001+01:00

The first ever time I attend a marriage registration and it happened to be kind of a different one.

Firstly, I attended it in the UK (in Chichester, where the groom's mum stays), with Bee Peng, Sammi and Stephy.

Secondly, they are couple of a British and a Malaysian

Thirdly, there are already two (super cute) kids when the wedding was held.

On 16th morning, going to the registration office. From left, Stephy, KimFoong, Sammi, me, Nanny and Oswyn, front row: Oscar.

The bride and the groom during the registration. I like this pic! KimFoong looked so 含情脉脉.. =D

Best wishes to YOU!

Huibee and Oscar, KimFoong and William's eldest son. He is DAMN CUTE!! and smart as well, he can speak mandarin to mummy, e.g. "妈妈是猪猪 (mummy is piggy)", or speak English to daddy, e.g. "Daddy is naughty boy"... LOL

They followed and had the chinese tradition (don't know what it's called) in William's mum's house as well.

5 of us. in Arundel castle. Nice trip with Sammee and Stepeeee..

P.S. there are loads pic on facebook and some videos will (hopefully) be uploaded soon (:

ahahahaha...

2009-05-07T16:25:00.004+01:00

Today! brings all the exam and stress to the end, this morning I've completed my degree unofficially!

As I mentioned in previous post, my exam today is on 9.15am, which means we would need to take the 8am bus to the park campus. And!! I was so careless and thought that the bus was 8.10am instead of 8am!! (it's normally on 10 past of every hour, but the first one is somehow different >"<) Luckily Bpeng reminded me and we 2 ran to the bus stop.. phewww luckily we still managed to catch the bus but could hardly breath.. Then, did a bit revision before the exam and went in like usual.. This very final exam brought me a somehow different experience, because I requested to go to toilet when I finished the first 3 questions (4 short essay Q in total). Nothing special la.. 11.15am sharp, I completed the final paper of my degree! Would like to make an Official Thanks to..

HsiangYek
CK Cheng
WeiShan
Sammi
Stephy
Jocelyn
Ruby
Jeffrey
Safia
Naina
Nick (YongKang)
LiJi
Evonne
LiWei
YongHan
Brian
Alice See
Cathy
Ariel
Jun Yi (He said he wanted to wish me but never saw me online)
Marcus
YingLing
Jancie
MingNi
Justin
+ those who wished me on FB

Hope I didnt miss anyone out. Some of them are really damn nice and sweet! purposely text or sent me offline message on msn (coz I seldom sign in msn recently). And of course my family, although they dont normally give any physical support but they are always the ones that motivate me and keep me moving on. Hmm.. They made me feel I'm blessed throughout the exam, although this doesn't mean I'd score well.. but at least I'm happy with the questions come out and my way of answering them la.. I tried my best! (except PY316 though) the rest, leave it to the markers.. (=

BTW, I feel sooo empty now. It's like nothing to focus in life now. This probably explained why I wasn't excited as I expected. Yesterday when I was doing the final bits of the revision, I already started to feel that I'm going to miss STUDYING very much.. Anyway, not to say too much of those, because Bpeng, PeiMan, Sammi, Jocelyn, Ruby, ShinYee, WaiLeng and Marvin havent finished theirs yet! Best of luck to them!!

For fun: My surname. LOL. Took the pic after exam. (It means exam PY310, surname Adlam to Teh, alphabetically)

In 36 hours

2009-05-05T23:55:00.002+01:00

I can't wait anymore..!! this is such a long torture
even friends start saying i've been saying im in exam period for long.. (although it's just 1+ week)
not really motivated to study anymore and those stuff just refuse to get into my brain.. stubborn than me!!

2 papers left:
Thinking and reasoning exam on 5.15pm tomorrow, which is the one I've decided to give up on..
while another clinical psy exam is at 9.15am on Thursday..
not very happy with this arrangement, there's just so little time in between, would rather have them in the same day.. =/
Anyway, will be the end of the final paper of final exam in final semester in less than 36 hours...
wonder whether I'll be too excited on thursday till can't write properly.. >"<

Best of luck to everyone.. (=

Donating Bone Marrow

2009-04-30T00:05:00.002+01:00

Today!! is the day that we're supposed to come to save Kian (to know more about it see my previous post- Bone Marrow Donor Session). Originally I felt like not coming because I've been slacking after my first paper, but.. dont know why, the feeling of i might be the one who save him, or somebody else, was so strong that made me made up my mind to come at last, with Bee Peng (the rest all become very ignorant during exam despite saying that got karma one if you come to test >"<)

Surprisingly we saw loads of people when we arrived in the SU bar in park campus. A guy gave us one booklet and a medical application form, asking us to read pg. 4-8 before filling in the form. OK, so next we sit down comfortably and started reading.. right on the first page that we read regarding the donor criteria for joining..

be aged between 18-40 *tick*

be in excellent health *errr.. yes gua*

weigh at least 51kg *wow bpeng!! luckily I gained weight!! otherwise I couldn't donate!! first time feel so good for gaining weight!*

reside in the UK (for the next three years min) *oh no!! we're not sure yet*

bla bla bla... several other criteria which I think we fulfill.. (see picture)

So, being curious whether a carrier of thalassemia gene can donate bone marrow or not.. I approached a lady and wrote down the "disease". She said she doesnt even know what it is but she brought the booklet up and asked somebody else.. When she came back

"Are you a carrier or you actually suffer from it?" (errr.. if i actually suffer from it i should have died i guess >"<)

"I'm just a carrier of it =)"

"OK, it should be fine, but it may limit the way you can donate it" (pointing to 1 of the pages showing different ways of donating bone marrow)

"just discuss it with somebody else later.. it should be fine"

OK. I assume that I'm now an eligible donor. Next thing is the 3 years period problem - that guy said if we can't be sure that we 'll be here for 3 years, the answer is NO =/ (for apparent reason if we're needed we will need to travel here and stay for quite a few weeks.. it seems that we can't make this commitment yet)

So... I'm now blogging in park campus.. instead of giving blood sample.. feel a bit jealous seeing some people having the test up there. Actually in the application form, there's also criteria like "I am not on any other bone marrow / stem cell register in the UK or worldwide" which reminds me that probably we should register in malaysia rather than here in the UK..

Although a bit disappointed not being able to donate, guess we can still register it somewhere else in the future and help somebody else (for their trust, one in 1000 is selected as a match for a patient each year). At least I know that carriers of thalassemia are able to donate.

P.S. Post was written in park campus on 29th 7pm

Countdown to freedom: 7 days!

Prosopagnosia

2009-04-29T00:50:00.001+01:00

Do you think you have problem in recognizing human face?

I wonder anyone is like me, that when I first came here, I found most Whites have similar faces. It's kind of embarassing that sometimes when I'm working, I help a customer to look for size option in the stockroom while she's waiting in the shop floor, normally when I come back, I don't really remember which is the one that ask for my help (especially when there are lots customers)! I assumed this as usual (since we seldom see faces of different races ma), and thought that I'd get used to them soon and would be able to differenciate them well. But until recent, things like that still happen!! I've been here for 3 years.. That day when I came back from stockroom and wondered who that was, I asked my manager directly.. she and a colleague of mine kept laughing at me after that.. so did the customer, because she heard me asking.. >"<

Is there anyone out there that have similar situation??

Why would I talk about this suddenly..? Because one of the topic that I revised for exam PY313 (Cognitive neuropsychology) is about Prosopagnosia, also known as face blindness, which is a selective inability to recognize or differentiate among faces (something like that la, finished this paper I can't remember edy =P).

Then, when I was doing a bit research about it yesterday, I found that it's not just simply wide variation under this diagnosis, but there are mild cases in which, it may be affecting 10% of the population!!!! ok, you may not be able to realize this in general life, as most people are those that familiar to you, while there's no point of remembering strangers'. BUT, one common "symptom" is the inability to keep track the identity of characters in movies!!

KNS.. I really have this problem.. Still remember when I went to watch The Dark Knight (Batman 3) in cinema last year, I couldn't differenciate between the batman (of course when he was in his casual look la - Wayne) and Dent, until my friend told me that they have different hair colour.. so THROUGHTOUT THE MOVIE, I used their hair colour as the cue to differentiate who is who.... super zzzz right?!!?!

OK. Basically it's not a big problem (neither is it very disabling), as I can recognize familiar faces, no matter what ethnicity they are, really well. But.. I'm just trying to look for anyone like me.. please.. (well, if it's really 10%, then 1 of 10 of my blog readers should be like me right?)

What my name means

2009-04-28T00:45:00.002+01:00

You entered: Teh Hui Bee

There are 9 letters in your name.
Those 9 letters total to 47
There are 5 vowels and 4 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 11

The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.

The expression or destiny for #11:
Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.

The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.

The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.

Your Soul Urge number is: 9

A Soul Urge number of 9 means:
With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.

You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.

As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 2

An Inner Dream number of 2 means:
You dream of close and meaningful relationships, cooperation with those around you; family and friends. You want to be a peacemaker and mediator. You present an image that you are a very pliable and easygoing person who would be very easy to get along with.

Those in yellow tend to be what I agree with, Or, what suprised me yet I still more incline to agree with. Whereas those in red are what I strongly disagree with.. (e.g. I'm obviously not an easygoing person lorrr.. XD)

What do you think?

In general I think I'm quite a practical person, not really a dreamer (wth it says I'm a dreamer more than a doer, I didn't say I disagree, but I will spend some time analyzing whether it's true! lol). I still agree with "you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents." although having to say that I'm a more down to earth person. BUT the thing is I'm shifting my mind.. I mean changing, because at this period of time, I'm going to graduate, and I recognize the importance of......... you know, some realistic stuff (e.g. financial issue if you don't get a job - ahh and it says I'm a natural excellent teacher, philosopher, social worker or advisor - So I should work towards this direction huh?).

Anyway, This is such a long and wordy post that I doubt whether anyone would really read it by heart?! Perhaps you'd be more interested in getting to know what your name means? (click here) And.. I don't really... agree with those kind of analysis, this is why I seldom do any test (I'm still wondering it's just a name that my dad gave me in translation from hokkien to english, does that mean that much?? - most of the time I wonder when I see people doing any form of non-academic test) I still do this one and share it on my blog,.. because it seems pro

Thanks ChungVi (my primary school mate), got this from his blog (=
saw his analysis includes "have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals" and I'm so jealous! because I think I'm yet it doesnt appear on mine =(

P.S. in approximately 12 hours I'll be sitting for my 1st paper, why am I blogging here?

Random

2009-04-25T23:00:00.004+01:00

刚刚因为不想读书而无聊去看facebook一自己的照片
看到一些滑雪的照片.. (Austria Skiing Trip)
突然很想念滑雪很想念那趟旅行很想念那些像仙境般的风景..

突然.. 有一点舍不得在这里的朋友大部分都要毕业也准备回去了...

Facebook & Lower Grades

2009-04-23T17:42:00.000+01:00

College students who use Facebook spend less time studying and have lower grade point averages than students who have not signed up for the social networking website, according to a pilot study at one university.

However, more than three-quarters of Facebook users claimed that their use of the social networking site didn’t interfere with their studies.

“We can’t say that use of Facebook leads to lower grades and less studying – but we did find a relationship there,” said Aryn Karpinski, co-author of the study and a doctoral student in education at Ohio State University.

“There’s a disconnect between students’ claim that Facebook use doesn’t impact their studies, and our finding showing they had lower grades and spent less time studying.”

While this was a relatively small, exploratory study, it is one of the first to find a relationship between college students’ use of Facebook and their academic achievement.

Typically, Facebook users in the study had GPAs between 3.0 and 3.5, while non-users had GPAs between 3.5 and 4.0.

In addition, users said they averaged one to five hours a week studying, while non-users studied 11 to 15 hours per week.

"There may be other factors involved, such as personality traits, that link Facebook use and lower grades,” she said. “It may be that if it wasn’t for Facebook, some students would still find other ways to avoid studying, and would still get lower grades. But perhaps the lower GPAs could actually be because students are spending too much time socializing online."

To read more

What do you think?

I found myself spend relatively less time on Facebook nowadays due to its new layout (especially not happy with the fixed selections of published news, get annoyed that people keep doing tests and publishing them). But I used to spend lots time playing some games (some applications like "Who has the biggest brain?" "GeoChallenge" or "Friendsforsale" that sort of thing) or commenting on photos. Hmmm.. I do agree that it could be a distraction, but would it be affecting people's grades in college?

Anyway, it's important to note that they merely found a relationship, especially there could be many confounding factors underlie the relationship, such as personality traits as mentioned. There are also people who found facebook improved their grade as it helped them to make course related contacts. So perhaps it just depends.. And if we were to compare, I guess the advantages may outrange the disadvantages..

Students ma, even if there is no such thing as facebook on earth, there will always be something else to distract US from study.. LOL (such as blogging? why dont they investigate the relationship between regular blogging and college grade? ahahah..)

Bone Marrow Donor Session

2009-04-22T21:04:00.003+01:00

Young mother, Gemma Isaacs, is urgently calling for people to come forward and potentially help save her two year old son’s life. Little Kian suffers from an extremely rare genetic disorder — PNP Deficiency — and desperately needs to find a bone marrow donor in order to survive.

Gemma, from Wyman’s Brook in Cheltenham, is urging everyone aged 18-40 years old to join the Anthony Nolan Trust’s bone marrow register on Wednesday 29th April from 4 — 7pm at the Park Student Union, University of Gloucestershire.

There are currently 16,000 people worldwide in need of a bone marrow transplant, but because individual genetic makeup is so varied, the chance of finding a suitable donor can be slim. Many searches for patients are unsuccessful — a bone marrow donor whose tissue type matches theirs could mean the difference between life and death.

Kian’s condition - PNP Deficiency - is a genetic disorder caused by a lack of Purine Nuceloside Phosphorylase enzyme, which leaves the patient vulnerable to a variety of potentially fatal infections. People with the condition can also suffer brain damage.

His mother Gemma said: “Without a bone marrow transplant, Kian’s prognosis is bleak. It’s very rare for a child with this condition to live beyond 10. But with a bone marrow transplant, Kian will have a normal life span, although he will still have developmental problems. Please please come forward and join the register. I ask you to put yourself in our situation — imagine if it was your child, or a member of your family, what would you do? I really hope we find someone who will be able to help save Kian’s life. We’re desperate.”

The blood sample taken at the registration clinic is tested to establish the tissue type and the results stored on the charity’s confidential database. As a new member of the register the donor receives a registration card and written confirmation of being a potential life saver. A donor may be found to be a match for a patient almost immediately or may wait many years before being asked to donate — and in some cases may never donate at all if there is no match. Please come to the Park Student Union at the University of Gloucestershire from 4-7pm on 29th April to find out more.

Donors need to be aged 18-40. For further information regarding the clinic and joining the register, please contact The Anthony Nolan Trust on +44 20 7284 1234 or log on to www.anthonynolan.org.uk

Just saw this on our Uni website.. I feel like going to try ley.. especially the kid (named Kian!!) looks damn cute.. but that will be during exam period plus I'm a bit scared ley.. -_-" and.. and.. and my thalassemia genes.. haihh. Have been saying I want to donate blood for a very long time, but never get a chance to actually do it, of course donating bone marrow is a far bigger matter, but still, if stand on their point of view.. perhaps one day we will need other's help.. why not giving a hand when we're able to? It's like.. saving a life, A LIFE!! And it won't be just a life, it will also be a great boon to the family of the patient. And it's quite surprising.. they actually let people register, and when they find patient who match the donor then only would you need to donate.. Hmm.. dont know, it seems a bit scary.. -_-"

Anyway, hope they can find a suitable donor. God bless him.

P.S. Happy Earth Day!

Well done?

2009-04-21T00:58:00.002+01:00

80 pages, my dissertation..
received this email last week, it made me feel wow! finally came to this stage
it's like really the end of it, have been working on it for a year!!
don't really care whether it's well done anymore, I really try my best
but actually not really finish yet, because I don't get what Kerry means by saying "you have 2 univariate tests but only report one"
I think he overlooked something when checking my result section.. but I'm not sure, since he's the pro... (anyway I still think he's the best supervisor, opps, maybe I should say one of the best?)
haih.. hate being so last-minute! otherwise I could have finished and typed all the page numbers..
I was so stressed yesterday that I felt I couldn't really breath as usual :(
but then today I spent all day indulging myself.. zzz
no more procrastinating until 7th May - I say it I mean it I will make it (:
Countdown to freedom: 16 days

Half Year

2009-04-17T00:05:00.005+01:00

It's now half a year I blog here in huibee.blogspot.com (which is my 3rd published blog after thespoke and windows live space)
I think previously I did aim to reach 100 posts in six months and obviously - I failed, 15 more till my target :(
Blogging too less in recent few weeks
Just reread nearly all the posts this year
Kind of impressed by my passion on blogging, and my views on some sorts of thing
Guess I'm really kind of forgetful person - thus it's good to keep a blog
It reminds me about myself, my dream and helps me to see my growth and changes
Many people around me start or start again to blog, which is quite nice
as you get to know how life of your friend is through blog fairly easily
But the thing is I just realized the blogs that I'm following exceed 30 already!
they are all bro, primary and high schools friends, ELS friends, uni friends etc (still exclude those that I care yet they blog in windows live space which following here is not possible yet)
And I feel I'm not really able to read so many posts especially some (bloggaholic?) friends (e.g. Nick, Peiman) has new post daily or nearly daily..
so it ends up I just read the first few lines, if I'm interested only would I click on it
Is it good or bad huh? Or I should be more picky - dont follow so many people's?
Yet when I decided to follow every single of them, I'm pretty sure I'm interested in reading it or in knowing this particular person

Anyway, hope I would keep blogging, no matter how busy or boring life is..
and one final thing - Many thanks to those have been reading my blog and/or leaving comments for it.. They are very very much appreciated, they mean a lot to me, especially when I'm down, and they keep me carry on too (:
with real hope, i will be celebrating its 1st, 2nd, 10th.. anniversary

417

2009-04-16T17:00:00.003+01:00

不是我不明白 /梁静茹 & 卢广仲
曲: 林稘玉词 : 李焯雄

Just saw friend sharing this on FB, worth sharing it too, agree?
Heard the song quite a few times, felt it was just kind of normal Fishy type love songs (except the fact that the lyrics was really well written - deep though)
but watching its MV may somehow make you feel different (:

Passionate about...

2009-04-15T16:05:00.001+01:00

I'm passionate about studying, yes I just said studying, just as I'm passionate about jogging, blogging, movies, snoopy, eggs etc
This was what I feel normally, sometimes when I dont study for a long time, I miss the feeling of studying, of working really hard for exams.. It gives me sense of moving on and achievement. This was what happen last year before final
But it didn't happen this year
I can't motivate myself.. I keep saying motivation but I've lost it.
Anyhow I still believe I'm keen on studying.. it's just something's not going right in me lately.
Arrrggghhhhhhh how? Killllll... ok, back to my revision

even if im not motivated, I still hope I can be a motivator of at least some others.